Overheard in Nicole's House

Too Many Pepe le Piu Cartoons

My mom: Bryan, are you going to take Spanish or French this year?
Bry: French
M: I don't know, it's really hard and both Nicole and I can help you with the Spanish.
B: No it's not! You just put 'le' in front of everything. Le I am le going to le speak frances.

AIM Conversations
How much?

Nicole82: Ok bye! I love you!
Nicole82: THIS MUCH!!
Ross89: I love you too!
Ross89: this much

Ah the Computer Illiterate

Mom41: Hi, it's your mom.
Nicole82: Yes I know, hello.
....five minutes later...
Mom41: Bye! love, Mom

Wait... Did I Just Tell you...
(At dinner after a couple glasses of wine)
Mom: So the baby shower was a lot of fun?
Me: Oh yah, we had a great time even though the weather was awful and nobody came.
Dad: It's nice that you got to go though.
Me: I know! There are so many baby showers going on! Kathleen's, Kelly's, a girl I work with. There must be something in the water, I'm drinking bottled from now on.
::laughing::
Me (thinking): Wait... did I just tell my parents that Joe and I are...

Denial
Me: So I know I've told you guys it's a possibility that Joe will move in with me after his lease is up. Well, we've decided that's the best thing to do so he'll be moving in at the end of the month.
Mom: hmm... Well make him help you paint this place!
Dad: What? You're worried about the PAINT?

A Little Awkward
Joe: Thanks so much for helping me move this mattress.
Dad: Yah Nicole said she doesn't like hers any more and that yours is a lot better.
Joe: Yah she does...
Dad: Uh-huh...
Joe: ummm...

Blaaaaaaaah

I haven't been to class for a while now. I have just been a little crazed with wedding stuff going on and some snags that have come up. Joe's moving in all of his stuff tomorrow into OUR place! He moved all the important stuff on Tuesday (read: computer and laundry). Since he doesn't start work until 2p.m. he gets to stay in OUR bed all morning. Which makes me want to skip work all the time just so I can get in some good nappin.

Joe's slowly trying to win my kitties over. He said Fenster's been jumping into bed to sleep with him. Which doesn't surprise me because Mew-mew is a giant whore. He's getting worse too. People come over, he comes into the room to see what's up and starts the whoring. Typical whoring strategy begins with making enticing 'mew' sounds and rubbing his face on everything and anything. Manusbear's strategy is limited to me only. It consists of running in front of me into the bedroom, jumping on the bed, laying down with his back to me and then looking back over his shoulder coyly "Wanna pet me? eh? EH? I know you wanna! Look at my lovelumps! They're ADORABLE!" And then turning into a croggity old man. "I can't believe you jostled me slightly by laying down on the bed! Oh!? OH? FENSTER wants some attention?? Well FUCK THAT! I'm going to go lick myself in front of the balcony where all the neighbors can see!"

Little did Joe realize that when he moved in he adopted both a whorey man and a grumpy one. OH! And don't even get me started on the guinea pig.

Summer Sesssion is Ending...

With the wedding right around the corner (AH!) I decided not to sign up for the next session of ballet. The instructor said I could pay as I went along, so I think I'm going to do that. I can't stop altogether!

Yesterday we only had four people in the class. I wore a $5 long jersey tank top that was cut on the edges and my hott pants. I felt very 80s waspy. I have decided that Forever 21 is my new favorite ballet gear store. Little do they know their collection of retro 80s t-shirts are my Mecca. I just bought one of those long sleeved tie shirts (in turqouies) that only cover your boobs for like $4. It will look spectacular over my black leotard. I love that people actually wear this crap around, and I only wear it to ballet class. I also have a hoodie that has its arms cut off and shows off the mid-drift. I bought it with Meg one day.

Me: Hey Meg! If I was walking with you and I was wearing this would you cross the street?
Meg: Oooooh, I'm sure I've worn plenty of stuff you wouldn't want to be seen with.
Me: ...No.
Meg: Then yes.

As real clothes go I think I have a couple of tops from Forever 21 that I actually wear in public, but they're all the kind of thing where you have to wear something under them, like a tank top so that people don't stop and point at your bra. And so that Joe doesn't call me 'Hooty McBoobs.'

We did a lot of jumps in ballet class yesterday and today my calves are really sore. I love how the teacher goes into the whole explanation of "jump in fifth one two three four, and sissone one two and royale and step back side front, royale, and back side BACK and now left one two three four, and sissone one two and royale and step right back side front, royale and back side back NOW the ARMS" WHA? NO ARMS! ME NO DO ARMS. I didn't do arms... She was talking about this whole shoulder thing, frankly it was lost on me. I mean seriously, she's lucky if I don't run into somebody. I practiced it later at home except holding onto something. The cats enjoyed the show.

Fenster Embraces his Heritage

Ok ok ok ok.... which one do I submit to www.stuffonmycat.com ....

Option 1: Direct, unashamed

Option 2: Closer, coy
Option 3: Where the hell is my tail?? Taaaail! Tail? wtf?

Mmmmm Ghetto Food Fabulous

I am a ghetto food aficionado. Joe's the actual worshipper of all things long, laborious and there fore delicioso in the food industry. I am the huge shortcut girl. Making your own chicken stock? Pish-shaw! So I'm always in search of the perfect recipes which means they don't take longer than half an hour and they use ingredients I have in my fridge. ...The latter option is more of a problem. View below:

This is my fridge. Contents:
-One plastic container of old grated Parmesan cheese
-Two containers of deli sliced honey ham mmmmm yum!
-Four bottles of water, one open
-One teeny thing of jell-o left over from when I was being a super cheap skate and decided to fill tiny gladware containers with jell-o
-One half filled thing of salsa
-Horse radish from when Joe made bloody mary's... six months ago...
-Pickles?
-Another half eaten jar of salsa
-A very old jar of Miracle Whip, but I don't think that stuff goes bad
-One seedless cucumber
-My leftovers and lunch for tomorrow in the gladware
-Half an onion
-Part of a garlic thingy that used to be whole but I had to throw half of it away because it started to sprout
-Asparagus
-Half a bag of pre-mixed spring greens

In the door:

-Two things of mustard
-Butta
-Three jars of empty salad dressing
-One jar of fat free Ranch that I will never eat
-One water bottle full of pear chipotle marinade mmmm
-One jar full of ginger soy marinade
-Half a thing of milk which is amazingly unspoiled
-Chai tea mix mmm

So what recipe could I possible find that would work?? THE BEST ONE EVA!!! Here is, courtesy of Better Homes magazine, a crazy good recipe I modified a wee bit so I could make it, and it was awesome.

Prep: 15 minutes
Grill: 12 minutes
Ingredients

• 4 medium skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound total) (frozen in my freezer yea!)
• 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil (leftover from when Joe and I attempted Chicken Curry. Note: Curry powder NOT the same as Curry paste... this took two tries)
  
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons peanut butter (me gots the crunchy kind yea!!)
  
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce (every good single girl has at least leftover packets of this stuff)
  
• 1 tablespoon cooking oil (I used peanut oil... I like making popcorn on the stove and it's definitely the best for that - thanks Kate!)
  
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 4 French-style rolls, split (aw french my big white butt)
  
• 1/4 cup radish sprouts (yah cut this out)
  
• 1/2 cup packaged shredded broccoli (broccoli slaw mix) (how bouts spring greens?)
  
• 1/4 cup chopped peanuts (optional) (already included in the peanut butter! look at me I am a cooking multi-tasker!)
  

Directions
1. Rinse chicken; pat dry. Combine sesame oil and crushed red pepper; brush over chicken.
2. Grill chicken on the lightly greased rack of an uncovered grill directly over medium heat for 12 to 15 minutes or until tender and no longer pink, turning once.
3. Meanwhile, for sauce, in a small saucepan,* stir together sugar, peanut butter, soy sauce, oil, garlic, and 2 tablespoons water. Heat on grill rack until sugar is dissolved, stirring frequently. For the last 1 minute of grilling, place split rolls on the grill rack to toast. I definitely did not do this on the grill because I don't want to ruin what little pans I have. Also, little note to you... do NOT put the oil in first when the pan is hot and THEN the soy sauce KABOOM! There was smoke and soy sauce all up in my everywhere. The next time I put the soy sauce first when the pan was a lot cooler and it worked perfect. I guess the whole put is just to barely warm things up just so the sugar dissolves... Made me very glad I wasn't an over-achiever and decide to do it on the grill. Yah and screw the fancy shmancy rolls, I just put it right on my salad instant mix.
4. To serve, place cooked chicken breasts on bottom halves of rolls; spoon on sauce and top with radish sprouts, broccoli, peanuts (if desired), and roll tops. Makes 4 servings. Blah blah blah they're lucky I didn't eat it with my hands... No! I DID eat it with a fork and knife... but they said nothing about not licking the pan with the peanut sauce... mmmmmmmm
*Note: The heat from the grill will blacken the outside of the saucepan, so use an old one or a small cast-iron skillet.
Nutrition facts per serving: calories: 360; total fat: 14g; saturated fat: 3g; cholesterol: 59mg; sodium: 852mg; carbohydrate: 29g; fiber: 1g; protein: 28g; vitamin A: 3%; vitamin C: 14%; calcium: 4%; iron: 14%

So this really really turned out well. But I am totally stealing this peanut sauce. I will slather it on pasta, chicken, all over my body, everywhere!!! It is so daaaang good. Me loves me some peanut sauce, but there is only one kind that they sell at my grocery store and it's too spicy for my taste. I've looked at other recipes for it, but they are WAY more complicated and sometimes require a food processor?? Screw that - I'm lucky I have pots and pans. Although, after this wedding I will probably have the option of selling the Le Creuset to pay for Joe's school loans... It's nice to have assets to fall back on.

p.s. check out the picture on William Sonoma website.... awww gawd ::drools:: me loves me some lobster.

p.p.s. BONUS KIITTY PIC!!! On the window sill: