Oh So Totally 80s

I wore the best ballet outfit eva today to class. I had my pink cut-off tights, black leotard and my off one shoulder lose 80s graphic t-shirt. It is da bomb dot com. Yah I spelled that out all right. I love my tights. I definitely got a size too small because the elastic at the cut-off part is leaving impressions on my calves (I always have to get huge sized tights no matter what the sizing chart says due to my abnormal limbs, but we have covered this). Still, they suck me in and make me feel stronger. Either it's the pilates abs class I'm taking or the tights, but I feel like my 'core' is getting more solid. That's right! Just try and punch me in the gut when I have these things on, you're gonna like totally break your hand.

p.s. The Breakfast Club is definitely on abc Family tonight.
p.p.s. Sadly, the guy who plays the principal died yesterday or today I think. And not from breakin skulls.

Speaking about throw-downs, I ran into an interesting punk today. I was on the red line and it is just packed. Of course, nobody gets on at my stop (Monroe) because there's nothing really there except for the Palmer House Hilton. So I got a prime seat. I wasn't far too from the door. Unfortunately, five stops later, there are people jam-packed in the aisles and one of the doors isn't working on one side. Awesome, right? My stop is next. I contemplate moving toward the door and quickly veto that idea seeing as I can't even stand up. The train slows down, I gesture to the guy next to me I'm getting off and he tries to move to the side. The doors open, it's like the parting of the Red Sea except much more awkward and sweaty and there were no divine powers involved. At this point, people are already pushing themselves onto the train. I'm doing the 'scuse me, sorry, thanks, scuse me' routine, and one guy is nice enough to yell out 'Coming off!' So the people start backing off and this chick in front of me who is trying to get on goes, 'Watch it, bitch!'

She is a lovely 5' nothing in a green trucker hat with a scowl on her face and all I can muster is "Excuse ME" and I push myself off. She is so lucky I walked away because I was ready to take that hobag on. Booya! That's right! Lookin at me like she's gonna do sumthin, whatev!

I spent the rest of my way home visualizing myself waiting until right before the train doors close, snatching the Von Dutch hat off her head screaming "Watch THIS!" and running for it. I may also possibly flip her the bird, haven't decided.

Of course, in reality, how this would really go is I snatch the hat too soon and trip over my flip-flops as soon as I get to the stairs and her and her wannabe thugs jump me and take my ipod... and my turqouise ipod case... and break all my fingers... but not before I get in some good clawing and scratching haha!

Follow-Up: Here's my Totally 80s T

But I Don't Even Get Paid to Deal with This

I had a ridiculous flashback to my years as a resident advisor last night. It was scary. So my neighbor on one side that I've seen maybe twice decided to throw a party. Fine, whatever. Well, it gets to be around 12:30 and all I hear is literally screaming, SCREAMING. Girls squealing and guys screaming out the window. I am too old for this crap. I heard my other neighbor knock on the door and ask them to keep it down about an hour ago. So I head over, in my pajama top, jeans, my hair all gross because I worked out and knocked on the door.

"SHHHH!!! SHHHH!!!"
"Just like don't even answer it man, don't even answer it."
::shuffling around, possible hiding of solo cups lol::
::I knock again::
"Man just ANSWER IT!"
"Naw naw, they'll go away, just don't even answer it."
me, annoyed, "Just answer the door, I'm not going anywhere."
::knock again:: Guy comes to the door
guy: Do you live in the building?
me (thinking: no, actually I live across the street. wtf? YAH!)
me: You don't live here, I need to speak to the guy who lives here.
guy: Aw it's his 21st birthday! WOO!
girl behind him: We're leaving in like TWO minutes, I swear.
me: Yah, uh-huh ok. I need to sleep. I've got work tomorrow -
guy: Aw really? What do you do?
me (thinking: wtf? I am NOT having a freaking conversation with you right now): I'm an electrical engineer.
guy: Oh yah?
me: Yah I'm badass.
guy: We're going to leave in like two minutes, I promise. PROMISE! Pinkie swear?
me: no.
guy: Yah we're outta here in TWO minutes.
me: Ok, you're leaving, I'm sleeping, cuz if I'm not sleeping, I'm at your door. Awesome. G'nite.
guy ::motions the high five, I leave him hanging::

What busts my chops about this is that his place is definitely a $400,000 condo ... and now it's a $400,000 condo that reeks of bad beer. I don't think his daddy's getting a good return on this one.

Dobeedobeedoooo

Wednesday...

Boring boring Wednesday...

...until 7 p.m. when I will be forgoing my ballet class and heading to Goose Island for

*****BEER NACHOS*****

Due to my wedding 'diet' (otherwise known as the Nicole system) whose basic motto is "don't eat things that are obviously bad for you, like entire bags of doritos or french fries with mayonnaise, or entire bags of lime tostitos with salsa, or basically entire boxes/bags of anything in one sitting" I will be eating only beer nachos. I know this sounds minimalist but that's obviously because you haven't HAD beer nachos from Goose Island. Suriously... four people can make a meal out of these things. They serve nachos with jalepenos, cheese, and your choice of meat with a giant bread bowl filled with beer cheese. The thing is bottomless, I swear to God. In fact, I've been preparing myself for my meal of beer nachos by eating only oatmeal for breakfast and a 4/5 pt. lean cuisine for lunch (that's four or five not four fifths)... and 2 medium sized pretzels. Now I must fast.

So the Nicole system is a little more complicated than that, but in the beginning those were my basic guidelines and YES it was hard for me to resist the huge bags of potato chips. I can't remember the last time I had a dorito unless you can count those dried out pieces of baked crap I'll sometimes pick out at Jimmy John's with my slim sub with ::gulp:: mustard, no mayo. But of course I don't miss that... wtf! YES I MISS THAT! I miss being freaking 15 yrs. old, 125 lbs., 5'7" eating a box of ho ho's when I came home from school and drowning my sandwiches in ::drooling:: Helmann's real mayonnaise ...gawwww... I mean suriously, if the clouds parted and a voice boomed "You can eat whatever you want and stay amazingly skinny" I truly believe any health-conscious person would drop the tofu and head to Fannie Mae, screw the chloresterol. Anyone who talks up how they would never go back is a LIAR!!! LIIIIIAR!! "I don't even miss those big juicy cheeseburgers -" LIE!! I guess my point is, all in moderation. So to save my wedding diet sanity, I'm going to get beer nachos.

Nicole Tries Ballet New Session

Yesterday I was having kind of a bad day. I'd bought a new dress, a strapless one and I had to wrestle with my boobs to make it work. There was the regular strapless bra, the boustie, I even tried tape. Twenty minutes later, the girls are looking good, but I've slipped into the kind of depressed mood where I want to sit in my pajama pants and watch reruns of Top Chef while eating endless amounts of wheat thins and boursin cheese (THE best cheese ever) and drink a tub of Crystal Light Lemonade. Somehow this makes me feel like I'm somewhat near being a Top Chef... it's the cheese.

But I resisted. I said NO, No Nicole, you will not let boobs ruin your day, you will stuff those ladies into a double layer of bras, wear your favorite 'Kiss me I'm Irish' t-shirt (somewhat false advertising seeing as I wouldn't let you kiss me and I'm really only 25% Irish but no matter), throw on those hott pants and go to ballet! And then it hailed... Luckily it stopped before class and I was determined to make it out.

Off I went! Hott pants and all, through the lovely condominium meeting in my lobby. And ballet class of course wound up being a great stress reliever yet again. Maybe it's because no matter what, you can't help but see yourself in a great big tutu twirling around, and let's face it, you just cannot be in a bad mood after that. It's just too ridiculous to be sad about. Makes me wish I had class twice a week.

So here I am at work today, wishing I were at ballet class. Because there, I can wear legwarmers. And I got the ones with stirrups for your feet that go up to your thighs and they. are. awesome.

Hellooooo

Here I am at work, still waiting for a new project to start, dragging out my 15 min. of actual work to last all day, and I thought I'd talk about the new ballet session! YEA!!!

Our first class was May 3rd. The only people who have returned are T-back, actress and me. There are a bunch of new people who have never taken and one girl who is really good. But she only came to the class on the 3rd, so I think she dropped it. This makes me, dum dum DUUUMMMM! The Best Dancer in the Class!! Amazing, isn't it?

I practice my backbend solo for the modern section of our ballet repertoire

The first class was pretty boring because we spent a loooooooong time at the bar going over things I alread knew. The second class was a bit better but we did pirouhettes! I HATE pirouttes.

I'm... getting... so... dizzy!

Otherwise, it went well. I love going, it's such a stress reliever. Gaw! I'm ready to get out of this building!!!

Doc

I realized I never did a follow-up post on what really went down in my back doc appt. It was thrilling. And by thrilling, I mean a colossal waste of my time. Although the x-ray guy did give me some oreos so at least I didn't go hungry. But I probably walked around the rest of the afternoon with oreo in my teeth. Hotness.

Doc: So it doesn't look like your spine curvature has gotten worse.
Me: Well no, of course not, I'm dealing with pain associated with an injury in high school.
Doc: Aha...
Me: I get these shooting pains around my rib cage and it hurts more when I breathe in, they usually last now for about half an hour. Before they went away after a couple minutes.
Doc: Hmm... Does the pain inhibit you from any of your normal activities?
Me (confused): Well yah, I mean I can't really breathe.
Doc: No no, I mean normally.
Me (more confused): Uhh... yah because I can't breathe.
Doc: No! I mean AFTER the pain is gone.
Me (ready to strangle someone): Of course not, because then the pain is gone.
Doc: Right, riiiiiiight... hmmm... we-ell, since it's not interfering with your daily life I suggest you give us a call if it gets worse over the next couple of months.
Me: Isn't that... what I just did?
Doc: We could give you an MRI but I sincerely doubt that would show anything.
Me: Ok... so what am I supposed to do?
Doc: Call me if it gets worse, in the meantime I'm giving you some literature on vitamins, they are shown to improve joints.
Me: Vitamins????
Doc: Oh yes, I highly recommend the vitamins.

So I left, with yet another set of lovely x-rays and an article on effing vitamins. I'm so excited for the bill to arrive.

When I got home I started searching breast reduction surgery. I was totally for it, but after seeing some of these pictures... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I think I'll wait this one out as long as humanly possible.

Update: so it's been weeks after the doc visit. And back pain wound be the same. Vitamin article remains unread. Sue me.

Mew?

On my train ride home today (or rather my train ride to my bus ride home), I spotted the 55+ year old man across from me reading THIS:


Ah yes, Warriors: Into the Wild. It is also followed by Warriors: Fire and Ice. Read the thrilling synopsis from Amazon.com below:

Grade 5 Up-Rusty, a young "kittypet" (house cat), yearns for adventure. When he's offered the chance to join the ThunderClan, one of the gangs of feral cats in the area, he doesn't hesitate. Renamed Firepaw, he becomes an apprentice and begins to train as a warrior. After rescuing Yellowfang, ex-medicine cat for the ShadowClan who has fled for her life, Firepaw and the other ThunderClan members find themselves in the middle of a turf war against the rival gang, led by the nefarious Brokenstar. There's a traitor in their midst, though, and Firepaw must learn more than just hunting and fighting to survive. The author has created an intriguing world with an intricate structure and mythology, and an engaging young hero. The supporting cast of players is large and a little confusing, but there are standouts who give dimension to the tale. The difficult life of a feral cat is described in some detail, and a fair amount of violence is included. The ending is left ambiguous-there is definitely more to come. This is not as elegantly written as Brian Jacques's "Redwall" series (Philomel), but it's another option for fans of animal adventure/fantasy stories.
Mara Alpert, Los Angeles Public Library
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

THUNDERCLAN GRRRROWWWWL!!!

I wonder if he was a teacher... hmmm downtown on State St. on a Tuesday? Probs not. A very responsible... grandfather? Who decided he must read Warriors: Into the Wild to make sure it has appropriate content for his grandchild? Wait... Brokenstar? Firepaw? Doubtful...

I leave you with one more quote from Amazon:

Inside This Book
First Sentence:
It was very dark.

I'm hooked