Survey: What do you think would be the most amusing way to quit your job? Add to these suggestions in the comments section.
Suggestions:
A. Any time anyone asks you for anything say 'no'.
"Nicole, will you forward this email to so and so"
"No."
"Nicole, are you going to answer that?"
"No."
"Nicole, can you tell me - "
"No."
B. Give yourself a pedicure at your desk.
C. Start wearing questionable t-shirts to work like: "My parents beat me & I turned out fine." or "Gin and Jews" or "Mojitos, mo' problems."
D. Walk past a conference room, double over like you're going to puke, dry heave, stand up, wave, carry on.
E. Put up various pictures of yourself with random drunks at bars, top optional, cross-dressers preferred.
F. Show up at the Holiday party and offer to get everyone a drink. The next day at work ask for your money back and insist it was a cash bar.
G. Make up things about your department/specialty and insist you're right.
"Why would I ask for an 80MVA transformer, clearly I said 80GVA."
"Isn't that really big?"
"Well then how do you explain how an ipod can hold 80GB??? HMM?? OBVIOUSLY a transformer is more powerful than an ipod. Jesus!"
H. Start commenting under your breath about everybody's outfit.
"Cannot beLIEVE she thinks those colors go together."
"What?"
"What?"
I. Insist the printer is broken. Always. All four of them.
J. Start calling your boss a catchy nickname like "Butch" or "Kid" or "Speedy."
K. End all sentences with a religious connotation (not necessarily yours).
"The document went out today Praise Allah!"
"The computer, God Bless it so, keeps fucking crashing when I'm on Excel, sweet baby Jesus."
L. Interrupt all work-related conversations to talk about your cats. No it doesn't matter if you really have cats.
"So we're going to have to get these out by -"
"OH MY GOSH that reminds me, so last night I was about to go out and Fluffy and Spotty were all like 'mew!' and I was like 'mew?' and they ANSWERED ME!"
M. ???
Monday, December 18, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Letters to George
Every have that one co-worker that always picks at you? And it seems like no matter what you say or do the situation never gets better and never goes away? You just keep getting completely whack-o emails and there's no way to remedy the situation!
If only you could just tell your co-worker off!
Well do it! VENT! Write your 'Dear George'.
*Special thanks to Joanie for her contributions ;)
It'll make you feel better, I promise!
If only you could just tell your co-worker off!
Well do it! VENT! Write your 'Dear George'.
Dear George,Come on! Give it a try! Write a Dear George!
No I will not make out with you.
Dear George,
Drink the Kool-aid.
Cheers!
Dear George,
Late at night, when I'm in bed, naked, I think of you...
...dying in a fire.
Sweet Dreams!
Dear George,
I'M A REPUBLICAN!
Dear George,
Hey! Know what I like? Kittens!
Know what I don't like? YOU!
Dear George,
The common loon (Gavia immer) is a bird found in Northern Michigan and other parts of the US / Canada Border.
The office loon (Psychovia Georgimmer) is a loser found in the front office.
Both should be shot upon visual contact.
Dear George,
I love it when you talk dirty
Thinking of you!
George,
I know I can help you, but first we have to test your thetans.
George,
I think of you when I clean my toilet, you're both full of sh*t!
Dear George,
You know when you're a kid and you're parents get divorced they tell you it wasn't your fault? They lied.
*Special thanks to Joanie for her contributions ;)
It'll make you feel better, I promise!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Crazy M
I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I would this morning with some amusing stories about my podmate.
I work in a cubicle with three other people, and the girl across the corner is a little wacky. For instance, she'll blurt out personal questions during total silence. One day I was sitting at my computer, back to her and I hear, "ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?" What if I were barren??? Not to mention that's none of her business. Okay, whatever, a little strange.
Last week she let out a loud burp followed by "Excuse me!", and then burped AGAIN and said, "ExCUSE me!" and then started laughing hysterically. Seriously, laughed for quite a while everyone else just kind of sat there awkwardly. So she's a little socially inept.
She'll also count out drawing numbers, out loud, hundreds of them. A little annoying.
So it really didn't surprise me that today she comes in and she's got the sniffles... awww... She decides to do what any other person would do, stuff kleenex up both her nostrils. It's hanging out for everyone to see. Hotness.
I guess she just kind of adds to the wacky atmosphere here at the office.
There's the whistling guy. Thankfully he's stopped since I've asked him, I've given him credit for that. He's made such amazingly condescending comments to me like, "I guess you're not just another pretty face" and "Good job, I'm proud of you!" when I'm speaking in Spanish to someone.
I think my favorite is the guy who uses outdated emoticons in everything. EVERYTHING. Every email even to our client! I practically peed my pants when I saw the following message in a conference room:
"Room Reserved for 11/9
and 11/10 :>/"
Yes, he wrote out the colon, carrot and backslash.
I could go on about some others, but right now I think these are my favorites.
I work in a cubicle with three other people, and the girl across the corner is a little wacky. For instance, she'll blurt out personal questions during total silence. One day I was sitting at my computer, back to her and I hear, "ARE YOU HAVING KIDS?" What if I were barren??? Not to mention that's none of her business. Okay, whatever, a little strange.
Last week she let out a loud burp followed by "Excuse me!", and then burped AGAIN and said, "ExCUSE me!" and then started laughing hysterically. Seriously, laughed for quite a while everyone else just kind of sat there awkwardly. So she's a little socially inept.
She'll also count out drawing numbers, out loud, hundreds of them. A little annoying.
So it really didn't surprise me that today she comes in and she's got the sniffles... awww... She decides to do what any other person would do, stuff kleenex up both her nostrils. It's hanging out for everyone to see. Hotness.
I guess she just kind of adds to the wacky atmosphere here at the office.
There's the whistling guy. Thankfully he's stopped since I've asked him, I've given him credit for that. He's made such amazingly condescending comments to me like, "I guess you're not just another pretty face" and "Good job, I'm proud of you!" when I'm speaking in Spanish to someone.
I think my favorite is the guy who uses outdated emoticons in everything. EVERYTHING. Every email even to our client! I practically peed my pants when I saw the following message in a conference room:
"Room Reserved for 11/9
and 11/10 :>/"
Yes, he wrote out the colon, carrot and backslash.
I could go on about some others, but right now I think these are my favorites.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Happy Halloween!
Joe and I had a loverly Saturday. We stayed in, as evidenced by my blog post on a Saturday night. In my defense, it is freeeeezing outside! So this morning (or rather 2p.m. otherwise known as 'Joe and Nicole morning' time) we walked down Clark St. to see if the farmer's market was open. It wasn't. Pretty uneventful. But we stopped at Oven Grinder's and got some amazing pizza. They bake it in bowls with the crust on top so when you flip it over it looks like a mushroom cap full of goodness. I just ate my leftovers.
After the pizza, we went to the lovely local grocer's and picked up, among other things, a pumpkin to carve. Yea! I haven't carved a pumpkin in a really long time. Joe's idea was to, "make it a mew mew." I did the ears, a couple whiskers and Joe did the rest. Here is our finished product:
No, it's NOT a mouse!
After the pizza, we went to the lovely local grocer's and picked up, among other things, a pumpkin to carve. Yea! I haven't carved a pumpkin in a really long time. Joe's idea was to, "make it a mew mew." I did the ears, a couple whiskers and Joe did the rest. Here is our finished product:
No, it's NOT a mouse!I think we did an excellent job even with our limited artistic ability. In fact, I guess we did TOO good of a job because Bear is terrified of this thing. TERRIFIED. I was trying to take a lovely Halloween family photo and he was having none of it.
It's gonna EAT ME!!!
It's gonna EAT ME!!!His little paws are gripping my arm with a death-like vice. Despite several attempts to warm bear up to Pumpkin, our new cat, not even treats could get him up on the table. The closest he got was me holding him on the edge of the table. He was very upset. Who knew black cats and pumpkins really don't get along??
LIE
LIEMonday, October 09, 2006
Clarktoberfest?
The street I live on (Clark St.) is organizing an event this weekend. It's called... CLARKTOBERFEST!!!! What is it, you ask? I dunno... no seriously, I can't figure it out. I have no clue what exactly will be going on at Clarktoberfest. As far as I can tell, these are the nifty things I have to look forward to that Clark Street is celebrating:
Increased sidewalk area
Snowplowing services on said sidewalks
A clean-up crew has been hired to pick up garbage and debris on Clark Street every Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday (does this include the homeless? just askin'...)
Decorations were provided on the street poles for the holidays (oooooo faaaancy!)
Power washing of the sidewalks
So I know what we're supposed to be excited about, but still, wtf is Clarktoberfest?? Maybe the poster will provide clues...
Hmm.... sot here wil be joggers and dogs eh? Interesting...
From the website: "Clarktoberfest will kick off on Saturday at 10:00 a.m. on the patio at Ranalli’s on Clark (2301 N. Clark) with an unveiling ceremony, during which the Clark Street SSA will officially make public the new Clark by the Park logo. The Clarktoberfest festivities also include sidewalk sales, live music, food samples and other giveaways, such as Clark by the Park-branded tee-shirts and dog treats, walking maps, and coupons."
Ooooo! Logos. Snazzy. I hope they're giving away commemoral Clark St. t-shirts. (OMG I was totally joking about the t-shirts, and I just re-read that section and saw them... wow. Clark St. REPRESENT!) And I am all about food samples. Not too crazy bout dog treats though.
Continued: "Clarktoberfest also marks the beginning of a marketing campaign aimed at reducing storefront vacancies and alerting Chicago residents to the variety of shopping and dining opportunities available on Clark Street."
I have to say there is a crazy amount of storefront vacancies on the street. Quizno's didn't even survive! (To its credit, there's another Quizno's four blocks away on Lincoln, so it might not have been the best idea to put a new one there, but whatever.) Just recently, I saw some of my favorite crazy cheap jewelry stores are going out of business. Who knew that closing at 3 during the week would do that? On a more serious note, I found out this morning that Tower Records is liquidizing its stores. There's a Tower Records that occupies the entire second floor of my building. I consider them to be my favorite neighbor. They don't ever make any noise at night and they didn't complain when my toilet overflowed (I thought the water had gone down when I flushed it again, it was an OPTICAL ILLUSION I TELL YOU).
Then there are the stores I think should be out of business. Like my cleaners that used to be next day... and has mysteriously stretched to an unbelievable four days! Or the five or six sushi stores on the same two blocks. I am loyal to my Sushi Para Too and their $16.99 all you can eat special. There are two Indian cuisine restaurants with a Mexican place inbetween them. The wine bar??? I have no idea if anybody ever goes there because the windows are tinted. Finally, the one I really don't get, Rose's Perks. This place recently opened up very close to my home and I can't, for the life of me figure out what it is. There's a picture of coffee, but there is no coffee sold there. The inside is painted a deep purple and a neon green, but there's two seating chairs and a coffee table that look like something out of grandma's house. So what's in there, you ask? A collection of crap that looks like someone pulled it out of their attic and decided to try and sell it. She should rename her shop Garage Sale.
To Clark St.'s credit there really is no reason why these stores should be going out of business. It's a busy street and it's in a great location. And here I'm referring to the stretch of Clark from Armitage to Diversey. There's a high school right there, and DuPaul is directly west, with the Fullerton beach access directly east. Lincoln Park Zoo is blocks away! Maybe the problem is the rent? This is possible seeing as the majority of places that I do see vacant are managed by the same company. They have loads of great places that would make me cry if they went out of business (my staples in order of importance):
1. Sushi Para Too... do NOT take away my sushi, I will die and God knows Brandon will never come to visit me again.
2. The Golden Cup, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed their pancakes at 2p.m. on Sundays
3. Ranalli's, pizza until 5a.m.!
4. Walgreen's, it's just essential
5. Hema's Kitchen, gotta get me some curry
6. Galway Arms, I really don't go here to get some ecclectic Irish food as much as I should
7. Express, it's practically in my basement. I get to know about their sales before anyone else.
8. Dunlay's, goat cheese pizza and spinach artichoke dip are awesome
9. Weiner Circle, this is many people's favorite, mostly I just like to laugh whenever I see the sign and a line out the door at 12a.m. on Fridays.
10. PAWS, I just like seeing the kitties! mew mew mew
Anybody have any other favorite Clark St. stores/restaurants?
Increased sidewalk area
Snowplowing services on said sidewalks
A clean-up crew has been hired to pick up garbage and debris on Clark Street every Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday (does this include the homeless? just askin'...)
Decorations were provided on the street poles for the holidays (oooooo faaaancy!)
Power washing of the sidewalks
So I know what we're supposed to be excited about, but still, wtf is Clarktoberfest?? Maybe the poster will provide clues...
Hmm.... sot here wil be joggers and dogs eh? Interesting...From the website: "Clarktoberfest will kick off on Saturday at 10:00 a.m. on the patio at Ranalli’s on Clark (2301 N. Clark) with an unveiling ceremony, during which the Clark Street SSA will officially make public the new Clark by the Park logo. The Clarktoberfest festivities also include sidewalk sales, live music, food samples and other giveaways, such as Clark by the Park-branded tee-shirts and dog treats, walking maps, and coupons."
Ooooo! Logos. Snazzy. I hope they're giving away commemoral Clark St. t-shirts. (OMG I was totally joking about the t-shirts, and I just re-read that section and saw them... wow. Clark St. REPRESENT!) And I am all about food samples. Not too crazy bout dog treats though.
Continued: "Clarktoberfest also marks the beginning of a marketing campaign aimed at reducing storefront vacancies and alerting Chicago residents to the variety of shopping and dining opportunities available on Clark Street."
I have to say there is a crazy amount of storefront vacancies on the street. Quizno's didn't even survive! (To its credit, there's another Quizno's four blocks away on Lincoln, so it might not have been the best idea to put a new one there, but whatever.) Just recently, I saw some of my favorite crazy cheap jewelry stores are going out of business. Who knew that closing at 3 during the week would do that? On a more serious note, I found out this morning that Tower Records is liquidizing its stores. There's a Tower Records that occupies the entire second floor of my building. I consider them to be my favorite neighbor. They don't ever make any noise at night and they didn't complain when my toilet overflowed (I thought the water had gone down when I flushed it again, it was an OPTICAL ILLUSION I TELL YOU).
Then there are the stores I think should be out of business. Like my cleaners that used to be next day... and has mysteriously stretched to an unbelievable four days! Or the five or six sushi stores on the same two blocks. I am loyal to my Sushi Para Too and their $16.99 all you can eat special. There are two Indian cuisine restaurants with a Mexican place inbetween them. The wine bar??? I have no idea if anybody ever goes there because the windows are tinted. Finally, the one I really don't get, Rose's Perks. This place recently opened up very close to my home and I can't, for the life of me figure out what it is. There's a picture of coffee, but there is no coffee sold there. The inside is painted a deep purple and a neon green, but there's two seating chairs and a coffee table that look like something out of grandma's house. So what's in there, you ask? A collection of crap that looks like someone pulled it out of their attic and decided to try and sell it. She should rename her shop Garage Sale.
To Clark St.'s credit there really is no reason why these stores should be going out of business. It's a busy street and it's in a great location. And here I'm referring to the stretch of Clark from Armitage to Diversey. There's a high school right there, and DuPaul is directly west, with the Fullerton beach access directly east. Lincoln Park Zoo is blocks away! Maybe the problem is the rent? This is possible seeing as the majority of places that I do see vacant are managed by the same company. They have loads of great places that would make me cry if they went out of business (my staples in order of importance):
1. Sushi Para Too... do NOT take away my sushi, I will die and God knows Brandon will never come to visit me again.
2. The Golden Cup, I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeed their pancakes at 2p.m. on Sundays
3. Ranalli's, pizza until 5a.m.!
4. Walgreen's, it's just essential
5. Hema's Kitchen, gotta get me some curry
6. Galway Arms, I really don't go here to get some ecclectic Irish food as much as I should
7. Express, it's practically in my basement. I get to know about their sales before anyone else.
8. Dunlay's, goat cheese pizza and spinach artichoke dip are awesome
9. Weiner Circle, this is many people's favorite, mostly I just like to laugh whenever I see the sign and a line out the door at 12a.m. on Fridays.
10. PAWS, I just like seeing the kitties! mew mew mew
Anybody have any other favorite Clark St. stores/restaurants?
Friday, October 06, 2006
Chi Town & Other Randomness
How much do I love Chi Town?
THIS MUCH!
This morning, while waiting for the bus, I saw a man, aged around 60 in a plaid shirt, overalls riding an adult-sized tricycle down the sidewalk. Yes, a tricycle. It was blue. I believe it had a basket. I looked for cameras, saw none. Now, I'm used to seeing dogs in strollers and all that, but an adult man on a tricycle?? Get a motorized Rascal like everyone else your age you crazy whack-a-doo!
p.s. He definitely had his gray hair tied back in a pony tail too.
Other random thoughts:
Halloween!!! J's par-tah is at the end of the month and I am so damn excited. So excited every time I read her 'Bring your own booooooos' part of the invitation I laugh hysterically. Tee hee.... boooooos, CLASSIC.
Thanksgiving!!! Officially going to Pittsburgh for the holiday. Bringing my new hubby (HUBBY!) with me. I cannot wait to see the fam, especially our new addition, Kelly's new baby Ryan!! And I know he is just dying to see the nasty, horrible blanket I'm making him. It started out as a good idea, but alas, it has died. Will post pics later. Am thinking of keeping it and putting it over the arms of my couch so that the cats rip that apart instead of my apolstery. I think that's much better than bringing it with and saying "Hey look Kel! I can instantaneously make your baby cry! Look at this! Yep, the monkeys face looks like it's been beaten in, tis true."
UPDATE:
Why does my monkey have only one ear?? AND NO BODY?!?!?!?
WHAT'S on my head??!!!
When Santa got dirty and drunk, the monkies took their revenge...
He tried to hide under some garbage...
But there was no escape!!!!
THIS MUCH!
This morning, while waiting for the bus, I saw a man, aged around 60 in a plaid shirt, overalls riding an adult-sized tricycle down the sidewalk. Yes, a tricycle. It was blue. I believe it had a basket. I looked for cameras, saw none. Now, I'm used to seeing dogs in strollers and all that, but an adult man on a tricycle?? Get a motorized Rascal like everyone else your age you crazy whack-a-doo!
p.s. He definitely had his gray hair tied back in a pony tail too.
Other random thoughts:
Halloween!!! J's par-tah is at the end of the month and I am so damn excited. So excited every time I read her 'Bring your own booooooos' part of the invitation I laugh hysterically. Tee hee.... boooooos, CLASSIC.
Thanksgiving!!! Officially going to Pittsburgh for the holiday. Bringing my new hubby (HUBBY!) with me. I cannot wait to see the fam, especially our new addition, Kelly's new baby Ryan!! And I know he is just dying to see the nasty, horrible blanket I'm making him. It started out as a good idea, but alas, it has died. Will post pics later. Am thinking of keeping it and putting it over the arms of my couch so that the cats rip that apart instead of my apolstery. I think that's much better than bringing it with and saying "Hey look Kel! I can instantaneously make your baby cry! Look at this! Yep, the monkeys face looks like it's been beaten in, tis true."
UPDATE:
Why does my monkey have only one ear?? AND NO BODY?!?!?!?
WHAT'S on my head??!!!
When Santa got dirty and drunk, the monkies took their revenge...
He tried to hide under some garbage...
But there was no escape!!!!BONUS KITTY PICTURES!!!
LOVE LUMPS!
AH! Two-headed cat!! They're guarding the trap door.... to my heart... awwwww!!!
LOVE LUMPS!
AH! Two-headed cat!! They're guarding the trap door.... to my heart... awwwww!!!Friday, June 30, 2006
Overheard in Nicole's House
Too Many Pepe le Piu Cartoons
My mom: Bryan, are you going to take Spanish or French this year?
Bry: French
M: I don't know, it's really hard and both Nicole and I can help you with the Spanish.
B: No it's not! You just put 'le' in front of everything. Le I am le going to le speak frances.
AIM Conversations
How much?
Nicole82: Ok bye! I love you!
Nicole82: THIS MUCH!!
Ross89: I love you too!
Ross89: this much
Ah the Computer Illiterate
Mom41: Hi, it's your mom.
Nicole82: Yes I know, hello.
....five minutes later...
Mom41: Bye! love, Mom
Wait... Did I Just Tell you...
(At dinner after a couple glasses of wine)
Mom: So the baby shower was a lot of fun?
Me: Oh yah, we had a great time even though the weather was awful and nobody came.
Dad: It's nice that you got to go though.
Me: I know! There are so many baby showers going on! Kathleen's, Kelly's, a girl I work with. There must be something in the water, I'm drinking bottled from now on.
::laughing::
Me (thinking): Wait... did I just tell my parents that Joe and I are...
Denial
Me: So I know I've told you guys it's a possibility that Joe will move in with me after his lease is up. Well, we've decided that's the best thing to do so he'll be moving in at the end of the month.
Mom: hmm... Well make him help you paint this place!
Dad: What? You're worried about the PAINT?
A Little Awkward
Joe: Thanks so much for helping me move this mattress.
Dad: Yah Nicole said she doesn't like hers any more and that yours is a lot better.
Joe: Yah she does...
Dad: Uh-huh...
Joe: ummm...
My mom: Bryan, are you going to take Spanish or French this year?
Bry: French
M: I don't know, it's really hard and both Nicole and I can help you with the Spanish.
B: No it's not! You just put 'le' in front of everything. Le I am le going to le speak frances.
AIM Conversations
How much?
Nicole82: Ok bye! I love you!
Nicole82: THIS MUCH!!
Ross89: I love you too!
Ross89: this much
Ah the Computer Illiterate
Mom41: Hi, it's your mom.
Nicole82: Yes I know, hello.
....five minutes later...
Mom41: Bye! love, Mom
Wait... Did I Just Tell you...
(At dinner after a couple glasses of wine)
Mom: So the baby shower was a lot of fun?
Me: Oh yah, we had a great time even though the weather was awful and nobody came.
Dad: It's nice that you got to go though.
Me: I know! There are so many baby showers going on! Kathleen's, Kelly's, a girl I work with. There must be something in the water, I'm drinking bottled from now on.
::laughing::
Me (thinking): Wait... did I just tell my parents that Joe and I are...
Denial
Me: So I know I've told you guys it's a possibility that Joe will move in with me after his lease is up. Well, we've decided that's the best thing to do so he'll be moving in at the end of the month.
Mom: hmm... Well make him help you paint this place!
Dad: What? You're worried about the PAINT?
A Little Awkward
Joe: Thanks so much for helping me move this mattress.
Dad: Yah Nicole said she doesn't like hers any more and that yours is a lot better.
Joe: Yah she does...
Dad: Uh-huh...
Joe: ummm...
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Blaaaaaaaah
I haven't been to class for a while now. I have just been a little crazed with wedding stuff going on and some snags that have come up. Joe's moving in all of his stuff tomorrow into OUR place! He moved all the important stuff on Tuesday (read: computer and laundry). Since he doesn't start work until 2p.m. he gets to stay in OUR bed all morning. Which makes me want to skip work all the time just so I can get in some good nappin.
Joe's slowly trying to win my kitties over. He said Fenster's been jumping into bed to sleep with him. Which doesn't surprise me because Mew-mew is a giant whore. He's getting worse too. People come over, he comes into the room to see what's up and starts the whoring. Typical whoring strategy begins with making enticing 'mew' sounds and rubbing his face on everything and anything. Manusbear's strategy is limited to me only. It consists of running in front of me into the bedroom, jumping on the bed, laying down with his back to me and then looking back over his shoulder coyly "Wanna pet me? eh? EH? I know you wanna! Look at my lovelumps! They're ADORABLE!" And then turning into a croggity old man. "I can't believe you jostled me slightly by laying down on the bed! Oh!? OH? FENSTER wants some attention?? Well FUCK THAT! I'm going to go lick myself in front of the balcony where all the neighbors can see!"
Little did Joe realize that when he moved in he adopted both a whorey man and a grumpy one. OH! And don't even get me started on the guinea pig.
Joe's slowly trying to win my kitties over. He said Fenster's been jumping into bed to sleep with him. Which doesn't surprise me because Mew-mew is a giant whore. He's getting worse too. People come over, he comes into the room to see what's up and starts the whoring. Typical whoring strategy begins with making enticing 'mew' sounds and rubbing his face on everything and anything. Manusbear's strategy is limited to me only. It consists of running in front of me into the bedroom, jumping on the bed, laying down with his back to me and then looking back over his shoulder coyly "Wanna pet me? eh? EH? I know you wanna! Look at my lovelumps! They're ADORABLE!" And then turning into a croggity old man. "I can't believe you jostled me slightly by laying down on the bed! Oh!? OH? FENSTER wants some attention?? Well FUCK THAT! I'm going to go lick myself in front of the balcony where all the neighbors can see!"
Little did Joe realize that when he moved in he adopted both a whorey man and a grumpy one. OH! And don't even get me started on the guinea pig.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Summer Sesssion is Ending...
With the wedding right around the corner (AH!) I decided not to sign up for the next session of ballet. The instructor said I could pay as I went along, so I think I'm going to do that. I can't stop altogether!
Yesterday we only had four people in the class. I wore a $5 long jersey tank top that was cut on the edges and my hott pants. I felt very 80s waspy. I have decided that Forever 21 is my new favorite ballet gear store. Little do they know their collection of retro 80s t-shirts are my Mecca. I just bought one of those long sleeved tie shirts (in turqouies) that only cover your boobs for like $4. It will look spectacular over my black leotard. I love that people actually wear this crap around, and I only wear it to ballet class. I also have a hoodie that has its arms cut off and shows off the mid-drift. I bought it with Meg one day.
Me: Hey Meg! If I was walking with you and I was wearing this would you cross the street?
Meg: Oooooh, I'm sure I've worn plenty of stuff you wouldn't want to be seen with.
Me: ...No.
Meg: Then yes.
As real clothes go I think I have a couple of tops from Forever 21 that I actually wear in public, but they're all the kind of thing where you have to wear something under them, like a tank top so that people don't stop and point at your bra. And so that Joe doesn't call me 'Hooty McBoobs.'
We did a lot of jumps in ballet class yesterday and today my calves are really sore. I love how the teacher goes into the whole explanation of "jump in fifth one two three four, and sissone one two and royale and step back side front, royale, and back side BACK and now left one two three four, and sissone one two and royale and step right back side front, royale and back side back NOW the ARMS" WHA? NO ARMS! ME NO DO ARMS. I didn't do arms... She was talking about this whole shoulder thing, frankly it was lost on me. I mean seriously, she's lucky if I don't run into somebody. I practiced it later at home except holding onto something. The cats enjoyed the show.
Yesterday we only had four people in the class. I wore a $5 long jersey tank top that was cut on the edges and my hott pants. I felt very 80s waspy. I have decided that Forever 21 is my new favorite ballet gear store. Little do they know their collection of retro 80s t-shirts are my Mecca. I just bought one of those long sleeved tie shirts (in turqouies) that only cover your boobs for like $4. It will look spectacular over my black leotard. I love that people actually wear this crap around, and I only wear it to ballet class. I also have a hoodie that has its arms cut off and shows off the mid-drift. I bought it with Meg one day.
Me: Hey Meg! If I was walking with you and I was wearing this would you cross the street?
Meg: Oooooh, I'm sure I've worn plenty of stuff you wouldn't want to be seen with.
Me: ...No.
Meg: Then yes.
As real clothes go I think I have a couple of tops from Forever 21 that I actually wear in public, but they're all the kind of thing where you have to wear something under them, like a tank top so that people don't stop and point at your bra. And so that Joe doesn't call me 'Hooty McBoobs.'
We did a lot of jumps in ballet class yesterday and today my calves are really sore. I love how the teacher goes into the whole explanation of "jump in fifth one two three four, and sissone one two and royale and step back side front, royale, and back side BACK and now left one two three four, and sissone one two and royale and step right back side front, royale and back side back NOW the ARMS" WHA? NO ARMS! ME NO DO ARMS. I didn't do arms... She was talking about this whole shoulder thing, frankly it was lost on me. I mean seriously, she's lucky if I don't run into somebody. I practiced it later at home except holding onto something. The cats enjoyed the show.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Fenster Embraces his Heritage
Ok ok ok ok.... which one do I submit to www.stuffonmycat.com ....
Option 1: Direct, unashamed
Option 2: Closer, coy
Option 3: Where the hell is my tail?? Taaaail! Tail? wtf?
Option 1: Direct, unashamed
Option 2: Closer, coy
Option 3: Where the hell is my tail?? Taaaail! Tail? wtf?Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Mmmmm Ghetto Food Fabulous
I am a ghetto food aficionado. Joe's the actual worshipper of all things long, laborious and there fore delicioso in the food industry. I am the huge shortcut girl. Making your own chicken stock? Pish-shaw! So I'm always in search of the perfect recipes which means they don't take longer than half an hour and they use ingredients I have in my fridge. ...The latter option is more of a problem. View below:
This is my fridge. Contents:
-One plastic container of old grated Parmesan cheese
-Two containers of deli sliced honey ham mmmmm yum!
-Four bottles of water, one open
-One teeny thing of jell-o left over from when I was being a super cheap skate and decided to fill tiny gladware containers with jell-o
-One half filled thing of salsa
-Horse radish from when Joe made bloody mary's... six months ago...
-Pickles?
-Another half eaten jar of salsa
-A very old jar of Miracle Whip, but I don't think that stuff goes bad
-One seedless cucumber
-My leftovers and lunch for tomorrow in the gladware
-Half an onion
-Part of a garlic thingy that used to be whole but I had to throw half of it away because it started to sprout
-Asparagus
-Half a bag of pre-mixed spring greens
In the door:
-Two things of mustard
-Butta
-Three jars of empty salad dressing
-One jar of fat free Ranch that I will never eat
-One water bottle full of pear chipotle marinade mmmm
-One jar full of ginger soy marinade
-Half a thing of milk which is amazingly unspoiled
-Chai tea mix mmm
So what recipe could I possible find that would work?? THE BEST ONE EVA!!! Here is, courtesy of Better Homes magazine, a crazy good recipe I modified a wee bit so I could make it, and it was awesome.
So this really really turned out well. But I am totally stealing this peanut sauce. I will slather it on pasta, chicken, all over my body, everywhere!!! It is so daaaang good. Me loves me some peanut sauce, but there is only one kind that they sell at my grocery store and it's too spicy for my taste. I've looked at other recipes for it, but they are WAY more complicated and sometimes require a food processor?? Screw that - I'm lucky I have pots and pans. Although, after this wedding I will probably have the option of selling the Le Creuset to pay for Joe's school loans... It's nice to have assets to fall back on.
p.s. check out the picture on William Sonoma website.... awww gawd ::drools:: me loves me some lobster.
p.p.s. BONUS KIITTY PIC!!! On the window sill:
This is my fridge. Contents:-One plastic container of old grated Parmesan cheese
-Two containers of deli sliced honey ham mmmmm yum!
-Four bottles of water, one open
-One teeny thing of jell-o left over from when I was being a super cheap skate and decided to fill tiny gladware containers with jell-o
-One half filled thing of salsa
-Horse radish from when Joe made bloody mary's... six months ago...
-Pickles?
-Another half eaten jar of salsa
-A very old jar of Miracle Whip, but I don't think that stuff goes bad
-One seedless cucumber
-My leftovers and lunch for tomorrow in the gladware
-Half an onion
-Part of a garlic thingy that used to be whole but I had to throw half of it away because it started to sprout
-Asparagus
-Half a bag of pre-mixed spring greens
In the door:
-Butta
-Three jars of empty salad dressing
-One jar of fat free Ranch that I will never eat
-One water bottle full of pear chipotle marinade mmmm
-One jar full of ginger soy marinade
-Half a thing of milk which is amazingly unspoiled
-Chai tea mix mmm
So what recipe could I possible find that would work?? THE BEST ONE EVA!!! Here is, courtesy of Better Homes magazine, a crazy good recipe I modified a wee bit so I could make it, and it was awesome.
Prep: 15 minutes
Grill: 12 minutes
Ingredients
- 4 medium skinless, boneless chicken breast halves (about 1 pound total) (frozen in my freezer yea!)
- 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil (leftover from when Joe and I attempted Chicken Curry. Note: Curry powder NOT the same as Curry paste... this took two tries)
- 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
- 2 tablespoons sugar
- 2 tablespoons peanut butter (me gots the crunchy kind yea!!)
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce (every good single girl has at least leftover packets of this stuff)
- 1 tablespoon cooking oil (I used peanut oil... I like making popcorn on the stove and it's definitely the best for that - thanks Kate!)
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- 4 French-style rolls, split (aw french my big white butt)
- 1/4 cup radish sprouts (yah cut this out)
- 1/2 cup packaged shredded broccoli (broccoli slaw mix) (how bouts spring greens?)
- 1/4 cup chopped peanuts (optional) (already included in the peanut butter! look at me I am a cooking multi-tasker!)
Directions
1. Rinse chicken; pat dry. Combine sesame oil and crushed red pepper; brush over chicken.
2. Grill chicken on the lightly greased rack of an uncovered grill directly over medium heat for 12 to 15 minutes or until tender and no longer pink, turning once.
3. Meanwhile, for sauce, in a small saucepan,* stir together sugar, peanut butter, soy sauce, oil, garlic, and 2 tablespoons water. Heat on grill rack until sugar is dissolved, stirring frequently. For the last 1 minute of grilling, place split rolls on the grill rack to toast. I definitely did not do this on the grill because I don't want to ruin what little pans I have. Also, little note to you... do NOT put the oil in first when the pan is hot and THEN the soy sauce KABOOM! There was smoke and soy sauce all up in my everywhere. The next time I put the soy sauce first when the pan was a lot cooler and it worked perfect. I guess the whole put is just to barely warm things up just so the sugar dissolves... Made me very glad I wasn't an over-achiever and decide to do it on the grill. Yah and screw the fancy shmancy rolls, I just put it right on my salad instant mix.
4. To serve, place cooked chicken breasts on bottom halves of rolls; spoon on sauce and top with radish sprouts, broccoli, peanuts (if desired), and roll tops. Makes 4 servings. Blah blah blah they're lucky I didn't eat it with my hands... No! I DID eat it with a fork and knife... but they said nothing about not licking the pan with the peanut sauce... mmmmmmmm
*Note: The heat from the grill will blacken the outside of the saucepan, so use an old one or a small cast-iron skillet.
Nutrition facts per serving: calories: 360; total fat: 14g; saturated fat: 3g; cholesterol: 59mg; sodium: 852mg; carbohydrate: 29g; fiber: 1g; protein: 28g; vitamin A: 3%; vitamin C: 14%; calcium: 4%; iron: 14%
p.s. check out the picture on William Sonoma website.... awww gawd ::drools:: me loves me some lobster.
p.p.s. BONUS KIITTY PIC!!! On the window sill:
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Oh So Totally 80s
I wore the best ballet outfit eva today to class. I had my pink cut-off tights, black leotard and my off one shoulder lose 80s graphic t-shirt. It is da bomb dot com. Yah I spelled that out all right. I love my tights. I definitely got a size too small because the elastic at the cut-off part is leaving impressions on my calves (I always have to get huge sized tights no matter what the sizing chart says due to my abnormal limbs, but we have covered this). Still, they suck me in and make me feel stronger. Either it's the pilates abs class I'm taking or the tights, but I feel like my 'core' is getting more solid. That's right! Just try and punch me in the gut when I have these things on, you're gonna like totally break your hand.
p.s. The Breakfast Club is definitely on abc Family tonight.
p.p.s. Sadly, the guy who plays the principal died yesterday or today I think. And not from breakin skulls.
Speaking about throw-downs, I ran into an interesting punk today. I was on the red line and it is just packed. Of course, nobody gets on at my stop (Monroe) because there's nothing really there except for the Palmer House Hilton. So I got a prime seat. I wasn't far too from the door. Unfortunately, five stops later, there are people jam-packed in the aisles and one of the doors isn't working on one side. Awesome, right? My stop is next. I contemplate moving toward the door and quickly veto that idea seeing as I can't even stand up. The train slows down, I gesture to the guy next to me I'm getting off and he tries to move to the side. The doors open, it's like the parting of the Red Sea except much more awkward and sweaty and there were no divine powers involved. At this point, people are already pushing themselves onto the train. I'm doing the 'scuse me, sorry, thanks, scuse me' routine, and one guy is nice enough to yell out 'Coming off!' So the people start backing off and this chick in front of me who is trying to get on goes, 'Watch it, bitch!'
She is a lovely 5' nothing in a green trucker hat with a scowl on her face and all I can muster is "Excuse ME" and I push myself off. She is so lucky I walked away because I was ready to take that hobag on. Booya! That's right! Lookin at me like she's gonna do sumthin, whatev!
I spent the rest of my way home visualizing myself waiting until right before the train doors close, snatching the Von Dutch hat off her head screaming "Watch THIS!" and running for it. I may also possibly flip her the bird, haven't decided.
Of course, in reality, how this would really go is I snatch the hat too soon and trip over my flip-flops as soon as I get to the stairs and her and her wannabe thugs jump me and take my ipod... and my turqouise ipod case... and break all my fingers... but not before I get in some good clawing and scratching haha!
Follow-Up: Here's my Totally 80s T
p.s. The Breakfast Club is definitely on abc Family tonight.
p.p.s. Sadly, the guy who plays the principal died yesterday or today I think. And not from breakin skulls.
Speaking about throw-downs, I ran into an interesting punk today. I was on the red line and it is just packed. Of course, nobody gets on at my stop (Monroe) because there's nothing really there except for the Palmer House Hilton. So I got a prime seat. I wasn't far too from the door. Unfortunately, five stops later, there are people jam-packed in the aisles and one of the doors isn't working on one side. Awesome, right? My stop is next. I contemplate moving toward the door and quickly veto that idea seeing as I can't even stand up. The train slows down, I gesture to the guy next to me I'm getting off and he tries to move to the side. The doors open, it's like the parting of the Red Sea except much more awkward and sweaty and there were no divine powers involved. At this point, people are already pushing themselves onto the train. I'm doing the 'scuse me, sorry, thanks, scuse me' routine, and one guy is nice enough to yell out 'Coming off!' So the people start backing off and this chick in front of me who is trying to get on goes, 'Watch it, bitch!'
She is a lovely 5' nothing in a green trucker hat with a scowl on her face and all I can muster is "Excuse ME" and I push myself off. She is so lucky I walked away because I was ready to take that hobag on. Booya! That's right! Lookin at me like she's gonna do sumthin, whatev!
I spent the rest of my way home visualizing myself waiting until right before the train doors close, snatching the Von Dutch hat off her head screaming "Watch THIS!" and running for it. I may also possibly flip her the bird, haven't decided.
Of course, in reality, how this would really go is I snatch the hat too soon and trip over my flip-flops as soon as I get to the stairs and her and her wannabe thugs jump me and take my ipod... and my turqouise ipod case... and break all my fingers... but not before I get in some good clawing and scratching haha!
Follow-Up: Here's my Totally 80s T
Friday, May 26, 2006
But I Don't Even Get Paid to Deal with This
I had a ridiculous flashback to my years as a resident advisor last night. It was scary. So my neighbor on one side that I've seen maybe twice decided to throw a party. Fine, whatever. Well, it gets to be around 12:30 and all I hear is literally screaming, SCREAMING. Girls squealing and guys screaming out the window. I am too old for this crap. I heard my other neighbor knock on the door and ask them to keep it down about an hour ago. So I head over, in my pajama top, jeans, my hair all gross because I worked out and knocked on the door.
"SHHHH!!! SHHHH!!!"
"Just like don't even answer it man, don't even answer it."
::shuffling around, possible hiding of solo cups lol::
::I knock again::
"Man just ANSWER IT!"
"Naw naw, they'll go away, just don't even answer it."
me, annoyed, "Just answer the door, I'm not going anywhere."
::knock again:: Guy comes to the door
guy: Do you live in the building?
me (thinking: no, actually I live across the street. wtf? YAH!)
me: You don't live here, I need to speak to the guy who lives here.
guy: Aw it's his 21st birthday! WOO!
girl behind him: We're leaving in like TWO minutes, I swear.
me: Yah, uh-huh ok. I need to sleep. I've got work tomorrow -
guy: Aw really? What do you do?
me (thinking: wtf? I am NOT having a freaking conversation with you right now): I'm an electrical engineer.
guy: Oh yah?
me: Yah I'm badass.
guy: We're going to leave in like two minutes, I promise. PROMISE! Pinkie swear?
me: no.
guy: Yah we're outta here in TWO minutes.
me: Ok, you're leaving, I'm sleeping, cuz if I'm not sleeping, I'm at your door. Awesome. G'nite.
guy ::motions the high five, I leave him hanging::
What busts my chops about this is that his place is definitely a $400,000 condo ... and now it's a $400,000 condo that reeks of bad beer. I don't think his daddy's getting a good return on this one.
"SHHHH!!! SHHHH!!!"
"Just like don't even answer it man, don't even answer it."
::shuffling around, possible hiding of solo cups lol::
::I knock again::
"Man just ANSWER IT!"
"Naw naw, they'll go away, just don't even answer it."
me, annoyed, "Just answer the door, I'm not going anywhere."
::knock again:: Guy comes to the door
guy: Do you live in the building?
me (thinking: no, actually I live across the street. wtf? YAH!)
me: You don't live here, I need to speak to the guy who lives here.
guy: Aw it's his 21st birthday! WOO!
girl behind him: We're leaving in like TWO minutes, I swear.
me: Yah, uh-huh ok. I need to sleep. I've got work tomorrow -
guy: Aw really? What do you do?
me (thinking: wtf? I am NOT having a freaking conversation with you right now): I'm an electrical engineer.
guy: Oh yah?
me: Yah I'm badass.
guy: We're going to leave in like two minutes, I promise. PROMISE! Pinkie swear?
me: no.
guy: Yah we're outta here in TWO minutes.
me: Ok, you're leaving, I'm sleeping, cuz if I'm not sleeping, I'm at your door. Awesome. G'nite.
guy ::motions the high five, I leave him hanging::
What busts my chops about this is that his place is definitely a $400,000 condo ... and now it's a $400,000 condo that reeks of bad beer. I don't think his daddy's getting a good return on this one.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Dobeedobeedoooo
Wednesday...
Boring boring Wednesday...
...until 7 p.m. when I will be forgoing my ballet class and heading to Goose Island for
*****BEER NACHOS*****
Due to my wedding 'diet' (otherwise known as the Nicole system) whose basic motto is "don't eat things that are obviously bad for you, like entire bags of doritos or french fries with mayonnaise, or entire bags of lime tostitos with salsa, or basically entire boxes/bags of anything in one sitting" I will be eating only beer nachos. I know this sounds minimalist but that's obviously because you haven't HAD beer nachos from Goose Island. Suriously... four people can make a meal out of these things. They serve nachos with jalepenos, cheese, and your choice of meat with a giant bread bowl filled with beer cheese. The thing is bottomless, I swear to God. In fact, I've been preparing myself for my meal of beer nachos by eating only oatmeal for breakfast and a 4/5 pt. lean cuisine for lunch (that's four or five not four fifths)... and 2 medium sized pretzels. Now I must fast.
So the Nicole system is a little more complicated than that, but in the beginning those were my basic guidelines and YES it was hard for me to resist the huge bags of potato chips. I can't remember the last time I had a dorito unless you can count those dried out pieces of baked crap I'll sometimes pick out at Jimmy John's with my slim sub with ::gulp:: mustard, no mayo. But of course I don't miss that... wtf! YES I MISS THAT! I miss being freaking 15 yrs. old, 125 lbs., 5'7" eating a box of ho ho's when I came home from school and drowning my sandwiches in ::drooling:: Helmann's real mayonnaise ...gawwww... I mean suriously, if the clouds parted and a voice boomed "You can eat whatever you want and stay amazingly skinny" I truly believe any health-conscious person would drop the tofu and head to Fannie Mae, screw the chloresterol. Anyone who talks up how they would never go back is a LIAR!!! LIIIIIAR!! "I don't even miss those big juicy cheeseburgers -" LIE!! I guess my point is, all in moderation. So to save my wedding diet sanity, I'm going to get beer nachos.
Boring boring Wednesday...
...until 7 p.m. when I will be forgoing my ballet class and heading to Goose Island for
*****BEER NACHOS*****
Due to my wedding 'diet' (otherwise known as the Nicole system) whose basic motto is "don't eat things that are obviously bad for you, like entire bags of doritos or french fries with mayonnaise, or entire bags of lime tostitos with salsa, or basically entire boxes/bags of anything in one sitting" I will be eating only beer nachos. I know this sounds minimalist but that's obviously because you haven't HAD beer nachos from Goose Island. Suriously... four people can make a meal out of these things. They serve nachos with jalepenos, cheese, and your choice of meat with a giant bread bowl filled with beer cheese. The thing is bottomless, I swear to God. In fact, I've been preparing myself for my meal of beer nachos by eating only oatmeal for breakfast and a 4/5 pt. lean cuisine for lunch (that's four or five not four fifths)... and 2 medium sized pretzels. Now I must fast.
So the Nicole system is a little more complicated than that, but in the beginning those were my basic guidelines and YES it was hard for me to resist the huge bags of potato chips. I can't remember the last time I had a dorito unless you can count those dried out pieces of baked crap I'll sometimes pick out at Jimmy John's with my slim sub with ::gulp:: mustard, no mayo. But of course I don't miss that... wtf! YES I MISS THAT! I miss being freaking 15 yrs. old, 125 lbs., 5'7" eating a box of ho ho's when I came home from school and drowning my sandwiches in ::drooling:: Helmann's real mayonnaise ...gawwww... I mean suriously, if the clouds parted and a voice boomed "You can eat whatever you want and stay amazingly skinny" I truly believe any health-conscious person would drop the tofu and head to Fannie Mae, screw the chloresterol. Anyone who talks up how they would never go back is a LIAR!!! LIIIIIAR!! "I don't even miss those big juicy cheeseburgers -" LIE!! I guess my point is, all in moderation. So to save my wedding diet sanity, I'm going to get beer nachos.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Nicole Tries Ballet New Session
Yesterday I was having kind of a bad day. I'd bought a new dress, a strapless one and I had to wrestle with my boobs to make it work. There was the regular strapless bra, the boustie, I even tried tape. Twenty minutes later, the girls are looking good, but I've slipped into the kind of depressed mood where I want to sit in my pajama pants and watch reruns of Top Chef while eating endless amounts of wheat thins and boursin cheese (THE best cheese ever) and drink a tub of Crystal Light Lemonade. Somehow this makes me feel like I'm somewhat near being a Top Chef... it's the cheese.
But I resisted. I said NO, No Nicole, you will not let boobs ruin your day, you will stuff those ladies into a double layer of bras, wear your favorite 'Kiss me I'm Irish' t-shirt (somewhat false advertising seeing as I wouldn't let you kiss me and I'm really only 25% Irish but no matter), throw on those hott pants and go to ballet! And then it hailed... Luckily it stopped before class and I was determined to make it out.
Off I went! Hott pants and all, through the lovely condominium meeting in my lobby. And ballet class of course wound up being a great stress reliever yet again. Maybe it's because no matter what, you can't help but see yourself in a great big tutu twirling around, and let's face it, you just cannot be in a bad mood after that. It's just too ridiculous to be sad about. Makes me wish I had class twice a week.
So here I am at work today, wishing I were at ballet class. Because there, I can wear legwarmers. And I got the ones with stirrups for your feet that go up to your thighs and they. are. awesome.
But I resisted. I said NO, No Nicole, you will not let boobs ruin your day, you will stuff those ladies into a double layer of bras, wear your favorite 'Kiss me I'm Irish' t-shirt (somewhat false advertising seeing as I wouldn't let you kiss me and I'm really only 25% Irish but no matter), throw on those hott pants and go to ballet! And then it hailed... Luckily it stopped before class and I was determined to make it out.
Off I went! Hott pants and all, through the lovely condominium meeting in my lobby. And ballet class of course wound up being a great stress reliever yet again. Maybe it's because no matter what, you can't help but see yourself in a great big tutu twirling around, and let's face it, you just cannot be in a bad mood after that. It's just too ridiculous to be sad about. Makes me wish I had class twice a week.
So here I am at work today, wishing I were at ballet class. Because there, I can wear legwarmers. And I got the ones with stirrups for your feet that go up to your thighs and they. are. awesome.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Hellooooo
Here I am at work, still waiting for a new project to start, dragging out my 15 min. of actual work to last all day, and I thought I'd talk about the new ballet session! YEA!!!
Our first class was May 3rd. The only people who have returned are T-back, actress and me. There are a bunch of new people who have never taken and one girl who is really good. But she only came to the class on the 3rd, so I think she dropped it. This makes me, dum dum DUUUMMMM! The Best Dancer in the Class!! Amazing, isn't it?
I practice my backbend solo for the modern section of our ballet repertoire
Our first class was May 3rd. The only people who have returned are T-back, actress and me. There are a bunch of new people who have never taken and one girl who is really good. But she only came to the class on the 3rd, so I think she dropped it. This makes me, dum dum DUUUMMMM! The Best Dancer in the Class!! Amazing, isn't it?
I practice my backbend solo for the modern section of our ballet repertoireThe first class was pretty boring because we spent a loooooooong time at the bar going over things I alread knew. The second class was a bit better but we did pirouhettes! I HATE pirouttes.
I'm... getting... so... dizzy!
Otherwise, it went well. I love going, it's such a stress reliever. Gaw! I'm ready to get out of this building!!!
I'm... getting... so... dizzy!Monday, May 08, 2006
Doc
I realized I never did a follow-up post on what really went down in my back doc appt. It was thrilling. And by thrilling, I mean a colossal waste of my time. Although the x-ray guy did give me some oreos so at least I didn't go hungry. But I probably walked around the rest of the afternoon with oreo in my teeth. Hotness.
Doc: So it doesn't look like your spine curvature has gotten worse.
Me: Well no, of course not, I'm dealing with pain associated with an injury in high school.
Doc: Aha...
Me: I get these shooting pains around my rib cage and it hurts more when I breathe in, they usually last now for about half an hour. Before they went away after a couple minutes.
Doc: Hmm... Does the pain inhibit you from any of your normal activities?
Me (confused): Well yah, I mean I can't really breathe.
Doc: No no, I mean normally.
Me (more confused): Uhh... yah because I can't breathe.
Doc: No! I mean AFTER the pain is gone.
Me (ready to strangle someone): Of course not, because then the pain is gone.
Doc: Right, riiiiiiight... hmmm... we-ell, since it's not interfering with your daily life I suggest you give us a call if it gets worse over the next couple of months.
Me: Isn't that... what I just did?
Doc: We could give you an MRI but I sincerely doubt that would show anything.
Me: Ok... so what am I supposed to do?
Doc: Call me if it gets worse, in the meantime I'm giving you some literature on vitamins, they are shown to improve joints.
Me: Vitamins????
Doc: Oh yes, I highly recommend the vitamins.
So I left, with yet another set of lovely x-rays and an article on effing vitamins. I'm so excited for the bill to arrive.
When I got home I started searching breast reduction surgery. I was totally for it, but after seeing some of these pictures... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I think I'll wait this one out as long as humanly possible.
Update: so it's been weeks after the doc visit. And back pain wound be the same. Vitamin article remains unread. Sue me.
Doc: So it doesn't look like your spine curvature has gotten worse.
Me: Well no, of course not, I'm dealing with pain associated with an injury in high school.
Doc: Aha...
Me: I get these shooting pains around my rib cage and it hurts more when I breathe in, they usually last now for about half an hour. Before they went away after a couple minutes.
Doc: Hmm... Does the pain inhibit you from any of your normal activities?
Me (confused): Well yah, I mean I can't really breathe.
Doc: No no, I mean normally.
Me (more confused): Uhh... yah because I can't breathe.
Doc: No! I mean AFTER the pain is gone.
Me (ready to strangle someone): Of course not, because then the pain is gone.
Doc: Right, riiiiiiight... hmmm... we-ell, since it's not interfering with your daily life I suggest you give us a call if it gets worse over the next couple of months.
Me: Isn't that... what I just did?
Doc: We could give you an MRI but I sincerely doubt that would show anything.
Me: Ok... so what am I supposed to do?
Doc: Call me if it gets worse, in the meantime I'm giving you some literature on vitamins, they are shown to improve joints.
Me: Vitamins????
Doc: Oh yes, I highly recommend the vitamins.
So I left, with yet another set of lovely x-rays and an article on effing vitamins. I'm so excited for the bill to arrive.
When I got home I started searching breast reduction surgery. I was totally for it, but after seeing some of these pictures... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I think I'll wait this one out as long as humanly possible.
Update: so it's been weeks after the doc visit. And back pain wound be the same. Vitamin article remains unread. Sue me.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Mew?
On my train ride home today (or rather my train ride to my bus ride home), I spotted the 55+ year old man across from me reading THIS:
Ah yes, Warriors: Into the Wild. It is also followed by Warriors: Fire and Ice. Read the thrilling synopsis from Amazon.com below:
Grade 5 Up-Rusty, a young "kittypet" (house cat), yearns for adventure. When he's offered the chance to join the ThunderClan, one of the gangs of feral cats in the area, he doesn't hesitate. Renamed Firepaw, he becomes an apprentice and begins to train as a warrior. After rescuing Yellowfang, ex-medicine cat for the ShadowClan who has fled for her life, Firepaw and the other ThunderClan members find themselves in the middle of a turf war against the rival gang, led by the nefarious Brokenstar. There's a traitor in their midst, though, and Firepaw must learn more than just hunting and fighting to survive. The author has created an intriguing world with an intricate structure and mythology, and an engaging young hero. The supporting cast of players is large and a little confusing, but there are standouts who give dimension to the tale. The difficult life of a feral cat is described in some detail, and a fair amount of violence is included. The ending is left ambiguous-there is definitely more to come. This is not as elegantly written as Brian Jacques's "Redwall" series (Philomel), but it's another option for fans of animal adventure/fantasy stories.
Mara Alpert, Los Angeles Public Library
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
THUNDERCLAN GRRRROWWWWL!!!
I wonder if he was a teacher... hmmm downtown on State St. on a Tuesday? Probs not. A very responsible... grandfather? Who decided he must read Warriors: Into the Wild to make sure it has appropriate content for his grandchild? Wait... Brokenstar? Firepaw? Doubtful...
I leave you with one more quote from Amazon:
Inside This Book
First Sentence:
It was very dark.
I'm hooked
Ah yes, Warriors: Into the Wild. It is also followed by Warriors: Fire and Ice. Read the thrilling synopsis from Amazon.com below:
Grade 5 Up-Rusty, a young "kittypet" (house cat), yearns for adventure. When he's offered the chance to join the ThunderClan, one of the gangs of feral cats in the area, he doesn't hesitate. Renamed Firepaw, he becomes an apprentice and begins to train as a warrior. After rescuing Yellowfang, ex-medicine cat for the ShadowClan who has fled for her life, Firepaw and the other ThunderClan members find themselves in the middle of a turf war against the rival gang, led by the nefarious Brokenstar. There's a traitor in their midst, though, and Firepaw must learn more than just hunting and fighting to survive. The author has created an intriguing world with an intricate structure and mythology, and an engaging young hero. The supporting cast of players is large and a little confusing, but there are standouts who give dimension to the tale. The difficult life of a feral cat is described in some detail, and a fair amount of violence is included. The ending is left ambiguous-there is definitely more to come. This is not as elegantly written as Brian Jacques's "Redwall" series (Philomel), but it's another option for fans of animal adventure/fantasy stories.
Mara Alpert, Los Angeles Public Library
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
THUNDERCLAN GRRRROWWWWL!!!
I wonder if he was a teacher... hmmm downtown on State St. on a Tuesday? Probs not. A very responsible... grandfather? Who decided he must read Warriors: Into the Wild to make sure it has appropriate content for his grandchild? Wait... Brokenstar? Firepaw? Doubtful...
I leave you with one more quote from Amazon:
Inside This Book
First Sentence:
It was very dark.
I'm hooked
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Oy....
So I did not go to ballet yesterday because I've been having back issues. I'm hoping my back issues will lead to a doctor's appointment that goes something like this:
Doc: Nicole! There seems to be only one cause to this problem.
me: Oh really, one?
Doc: Well... two. I'm afraid you're going to need an emergency breast reduction right away.
me: Emergency?!
Doc: It's that grave. Of course this means it'll be totally and completely free of charge, in fact I'd do it pro bono if the hospital had any issues. Let's face it, your size is... well... obscene. I'm surprised this didn't become worse sooner, you must have quite the pain tolerance.
me: Well when I was little I did dare the kids in the playground to try and make me cry by stomping on my toes... I never did.
Doc: Hmm... we might want to get you a psyche consult as well...
Ah yes... I'm guessing it won't quite go that way...
So this morning, I went to work, as I normally do. Got into a mildly crowded elevator and proceeded to be tortured with the most unfunny trying to be funny conversation EVER. Why do all engineers think they're hilarious?? This was one of those conversations you KNOW the guy had with someone else (poor bastard) because it sounds so rehearsed. Imagine this entire conversation delivered in monotone.
Guy1: My son's moving to New York, so I told him, "You can transverse your L skills over there."
Guy2: Oh yes definitely
me: wtf?
Guy1: The standing, the leaning.
Guy2: Exactly how much to lean with all the people... egress
me: you are both clearly from the suburbs
Guy1: ha. ha. Yes egress. When to get on and off.
me: is this my floor? ... fuck...
Guy2: Finding a space to go in when it's crowded.
me: go faster elevator!!!
This is what I'm subjected to day after day after day after daaaaaaaay...
Doc: Nicole! There seems to be only one cause to this problem.
me: Oh really, one?
Doc: Well... two. I'm afraid you're going to need an emergency breast reduction right away.
me: Emergency?!
Doc: It's that grave. Of course this means it'll be totally and completely free of charge, in fact I'd do it pro bono if the hospital had any issues. Let's face it, your size is... well... obscene. I'm surprised this didn't become worse sooner, you must have quite the pain tolerance.
me: Well when I was little I did dare the kids in the playground to try and make me cry by stomping on my toes... I never did.
Doc: Hmm... we might want to get you a psyche consult as well...
Ah yes... I'm guessing it won't quite go that way...
So this morning, I went to work, as I normally do. Got into a mildly crowded elevator and proceeded to be tortured with the most unfunny trying to be funny conversation EVER. Why do all engineers think they're hilarious?? This was one of those conversations you KNOW the guy had with someone else (poor bastard) because it sounds so rehearsed. Imagine this entire conversation delivered in monotone.
Guy1: My son's moving to New York, so I told him, "You can transverse your L skills over there."
Guy2: Oh yes definitely
me: wtf?
Guy1: The standing, the leaning.
Guy2: Exactly how much to lean with all the people... egress
me: you are both clearly from the suburbs
Guy1: ha. ha. Yes egress. When to get on and off.
me: is this my floor? ... fuck...
Guy2: Finding a space to go in when it's crowded.
me: go faster elevator!!!
This is what I'm subjected to day after day after day after daaaaaaaay...
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
S&TC
My favorite FAVORITE episodes of Sex and the City usually involve Carrie being drunk.
Example 1: The Secret Sex Episode
Carrie gets plastered, goes to Big's place to comfront him about him being 'ashamed' of her. Poured herself a martini, onto the floor.
Example 2: VOGUE!
One of my absolute favorites. Carrie goes to VOGUE to get her first article reviewed. Shows up in a killer dress, unfortunately her article is just ripped apart by one of her editors. Winds up getting plastered with yet some more martinis.
"I'm drunk! ...I'm drunk at VOGUE!"
Gotta love the killer shot of the Vogue shoe closet. ...mmm a moment of silence for the gloriousness of it...
Example 3: Awkward Sex with Berger
I love Berger episodes. Ron Livingston is good times. His wobbly motorcycle skills = classic. What can I say? I am a sucker for those handsome funny guys. Anyway, Carrie and Berger get totally plastered after having awful sex two times. They go back to Carrie's place where Carrie attempts to be a ssssssssseductwessss.
"Looka dat! How daya like dat huh?" ::flashes bra::
Then she oh so non-chalantly strips herself of her sexy shoes... that wind up hitting Berger in the face. HOT.
Example 4: Classic Carrie
This episode always reminds me of Leanne. Cuz she inevitably winds up not-so-gracefully falling on her face but geta up and STILL looks FABulous! Carrie gets invited to be in a celebrity fashion show. After a couple complimentary bottles of champagne her 'big girl' shoes wind up being too big and SPLAT!
Stanford, "She's fashion roadkill!"
Only made better by one of the best disco mantras of the century (yes CENTURY!) "To be REEEEEEEEEEAL!" Yah you know you sang along at the end of the episode.
...
...........
.................
And you're singing it now. Yah me too...
Example 1: The Secret Sex Episode
Carrie gets plastered, goes to Big's place to comfront him about him being 'ashamed' of her. Poured herself a martini, onto the floor.
Example 2: VOGUE!
One of my absolute favorites. Carrie goes to VOGUE to get her first article reviewed. Shows up in a killer dress, unfortunately her article is just ripped apart by one of her editors. Winds up getting plastered with yet some more martinis.
"I'm drunk! ...I'm drunk at VOGUE!"
Gotta love the killer shot of the Vogue shoe closet. ...mmm a moment of silence for the gloriousness of it...
Example 3: Awkward Sex with Berger
I love Berger episodes. Ron Livingston is good times. His wobbly motorcycle skills = classic. What can I say? I am a sucker for those handsome funny guys. Anyway, Carrie and Berger get totally plastered after having awful sex two times. They go back to Carrie's place where Carrie attempts to be a ssssssssseductwessss.
"Looka dat! How daya like dat huh?" ::flashes bra::
Then she oh so non-chalantly strips herself of her sexy shoes... that wind up hitting Berger in the face. HOT.
Example 4: Classic Carrie
This episode always reminds me of Leanne. Cuz she inevitably winds up not-so-gracefully falling on her face but geta up and STILL looks FABulous! Carrie gets invited to be in a celebrity fashion show. After a couple complimentary bottles of champagne her 'big girl' shoes wind up being too big and SPLAT!
Stanford, "She's fashion roadkill!"
Only made better by one of the best disco mantras of the century (yes CENTURY!) "To be REEEEEEEEEEAL!" Yah you know you sang along at the end of the episode.
...
...........
.................
And you're singing it now. Yah me too...
Nicole Tries Ballet Part 11
Since I've received oh so many demands for a new blog post (okay it was just one) here ya go.
Last week we did pretty much of the same. Tomorrow is our last class actually. Nothing really exciting happened in class so I'm going to talk about the wedding a bit.
Now Joe and I want to send out invitations June 1st. We actually sent out save the date cards a couple weeks ago (if you didn't get one it's because you're not special... no suriously it is). Anyway, a couple of Joe's friends that were supposed to get one didn't because I DO NOT HAVE THEIR ADDRESSES! You're saying, oh those old friends are so hard to get in touch with. No, no, these are current friends, current friends living maybe a mile away. The list would include, one of Joe's former roommates AFTER college, guys he and his roommates usually hang out with every other week, and the topper on the cake, one of the best men, there's two. After asking Joe to help me, he got ONE guy's address. Finally, I asked his other best man to help. He, who shall remain nameless *cough* Matt *cough* never returned my call. Which was surprising because the boy has a cell phone glued to his right hand. He's in touch with people I haven't seen in eight years. Awesome. To Joe's credit, he lacks the innate nagging ability that was infused into me in the womb through all the amniotic... uhhh... stuff... I decided to take more action.
Here I must admit that I joined facebook a couple months ago-no wait! No, no don't go! I know, I know it's lame, what do you want from me? I only have like 20 'friends.' Anyway, I know two of Joe's friends through facebook. One, again, never returned my messages. Then finally, FINALLY I received a message!!
i am so sorry i didn't respond. i gave up AIM
and Facebook for Lent, really, and I've been
horrible at contact. if you still need any
addresses, please e-mail me: don'tworryiwillsaveyoufromthehopelessabyss@gmail.com
Thanks!
jason
PRAISE JEBUSALLAHBUDDHAWHOEVERHELPEDME!! After I emailed the one guy who actually volunteered to help, he sent this lovely email out to everyone except for ONE GUY (and I didn't expect him to have that guy's info. anyway so it totally worked).
Hey folks:
I don't know why someone out in Nebraska is doing this, but here I go:
Nicole needs your mailing addresses. E-mail her at helpmehelpme@gmail.com
To which one of the guys responded with his multiple email addresses. Do you see why I'm struggling here????
At least, in a matter of hours I had every guy's address except for one. Guess who? The best man's. Figures.
Last week we did pretty much of the same. Tomorrow is our last class actually. Nothing really exciting happened in class so I'm going to talk about the wedding a bit.
Now Joe and I want to send out invitations June 1st. We actually sent out save the date cards a couple weeks ago (if you didn't get one it's because you're not special... no suriously it is). Anyway, a couple of Joe's friends that were supposed to get one didn't because I DO NOT HAVE THEIR ADDRESSES! You're saying, oh those old friends are so hard to get in touch with. No, no, these are current friends, current friends living maybe a mile away. The list would include, one of Joe's former roommates AFTER college, guys he and his roommates usually hang out with every other week, and the topper on the cake, one of the best men, there's two. After asking Joe to help me, he got ONE guy's address. Finally, I asked his other best man to help. He, who shall remain nameless *cough* Matt *cough* never returned my call. Which was surprising because the boy has a cell phone glued to his right hand. He's in touch with people I haven't seen in eight years. Awesome. To Joe's credit, he lacks the innate nagging ability that was infused into me in the womb through all the amniotic... uhhh... stuff... I decided to take more action.
Here I must admit that I joined facebook a couple months ago-no wait! No, no don't go! I know, I know it's lame, what do you want from me? I only have like 20 'friends.' Anyway, I know two of Joe's friends through facebook. One, again, never returned my messages. Then finally, FINALLY I received a message!!
i am so sorry i didn't respond. i gave up AIM
and Facebook for Lent, really, and I've been
horrible at contact. if you still need any
addresses, please e-mail me: don'tworryiwillsaveyoufromthehopelessabyss@gmail.com
Thanks!
jason
PRAISE JEBUSALLAHBUDDHAWHOEVERHELPEDME!! After I emailed the one guy who actually volunteered to help, he sent this lovely email out to everyone except for ONE GUY (and I didn't expect him to have that guy's info. anyway so it totally worked).
Hey folks:
I don't know why someone out in Nebraska is doing this, but here I go:
Nicole needs your mailing addresses. E-mail her at helpmehelpme@gmail.com
To which one of the guys responded with his multiple email addresses. Do you see why I'm struggling here????
At least, in a matter of hours I had every guy's address except for one. Guess who? The best man's. Figures.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Nicole Tries Ballet Part 10
This may be a long entry. Today's ballet class was a lot of fun. There were only five people there which was really nice, more room to move around. We learned some new things at the barre. Most of which really worked on the leg muscles (surprise surprise). It was harder for me because I was really sore today. I did a pilates abs class at Bally's yesterday and it really kicked my ass. So naturally when we moved to the floor we did abs exercises ::groan::. Needless to say I'll definitely be feeling it tomorrow.
After stretching a bit we started doing jumps. Luckily I thought ahead and put on, not one, but two exercise bras. Oh yah, I was double dutying it up baby. And it worked wonders. We did a complicated combination and I think I could get it if I practiced some more. I just get confused on which foot to lift first because we do right and left sides. After that we did more piques, which I rocked. AGAIN. WHOOP! Let's get to the important part of this entry... I've been promising PICTURES WEEE!!!!! So here is my new black leotard, pink tights and legwarmers:
Flashdance!
After stretching a bit we started doing jumps. Luckily I thought ahead and put on, not one, but two exercise bras. Oh yah, I was double dutying it up baby. And it worked wonders. We did a complicated combination and I think I could get it if I practiced some more. I just get confused on which foot to lift first because we do right and left sides. After that we did more piques, which I rocked. AGAIN. WHOOP! Let's get to the important part of this entry... I've been promising PICTURES WEEE!!!!! So here is my new black leotard, pink tights and legwarmers:
Flashdance!Here's me in my new blue leotard and hott pants
Relevae with kitty (only professionals dare to tackle this death-defying move, that's my concentration face)
Relevae with kitty (only professionals dare to tackle this death-defying move, that's my concentration face)Sorry for the delay on this post. Things were crazy busy and blogger was giving me a hard time with uploading photos.
So you may be wondering why I'm not talking about my mom coming to class... that's because she WHIMPED OUT!!! It was too bad too because it would've been fun with her there. ::sigh:: Oh well, I'll just keep dancing my little heart out.
On another note, I was talking to a girl in my class and she said she was, "an actress." I asked her what she was working on and she said, "auditioning, EVERYbody's auditioning right now." Hmm... interesting. The actress isn't that great at dancing. She's the extra flexible girl who just isn't picking things up.
Sometimes I wonder about the people in the class, a lot of them have missed a bunch of them. I don't know, for me, I don't want to waste my money by not showing up, not that the classes were really expensive or anything, but I'm a frugal bastard and I hate wasting a dime, dollop of food, etc. I go out of my way to pick up pennies and I eat food far past the expiration date. I'm pretty sure the cream cheese I'm still pulling out is dated a month ago. In fact, I have no qualms about taking laundry to my parent's house still or stealing a bit of their food. I had to talk myself out of stealing the aloe infused toilet paper. I go out of my way to get to The Union on Fridays for their $10 all you can drink beer + well drinks + all you can eat pizza deal. It's $10!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even buy lunch any more, my cheek-clenched money habits have beaten my laziness into submission. I do spend money on clothes and shoes, but in my defense I WILL wear them until they are pit-stained, full of holes and beyond the help of arm and hammer baking soda.
I think I get these habits from my dad. The guy who picks out TV's from the dumpster and fixes them up (I think he has four in his workshop, not counting the two I have in my apt. THANKS DAD!). He has a bagfull of rags from old clothes that never seem to go away. He also picks out furniture. He has his and hers lazyboys sitting somewhere that he found along with a dinette, two papazans, and I have no idea what else. This is why I love him.
Maybe it's from my Aunt Kathy. Who endlessly cuts up papers that are already printed on to use for scratch. We had mountains and mountains of this scratch paper, it was endless. If this woman had the recipe for post-it glue, she'd be putting them out of business.
OR it could be my crazy grandfather. He puts the 'crazy' into frugal bastard. Yep he's definitely a crazy frugal bastard. He'll stiff people who worked for him and then try and hire them again. He keeps the same decrepit boat around even though it's rotting and squirrel infested. He has the same suits from the 70s (my brothers beg to wear them to school dances) that are bright yellow with gigantic collars. He also has medications decades old. I'm already going to apologize for the next story. When I asked him for q-tips, he showed me his 'stash' of ones that he'd already used but kept around. ::shudder:: Is that something from the handkerchief era, or just my crazy grandpa? I'm thinking just my crazy grandpa.
So you may be wondering why I'm not talking about my mom coming to class... that's because she WHIMPED OUT!!! It was too bad too because it would've been fun with her there. ::sigh:: Oh well, I'll just keep dancing my little heart out.
On another note, I was talking to a girl in my class and she said she was, "an actress." I asked her what she was working on and she said, "auditioning, EVERYbody's auditioning right now." Hmm... interesting. The actress isn't that great at dancing. She's the extra flexible girl who just isn't picking things up.
Sometimes I wonder about the people in the class, a lot of them have missed a bunch of them. I don't know, for me, I don't want to waste my money by not showing up, not that the classes were really expensive or anything, but I'm a frugal bastard and I hate wasting a dime, dollop of food, etc. I go out of my way to pick up pennies and I eat food far past the expiration date. I'm pretty sure the cream cheese I'm still pulling out is dated a month ago. In fact, I have no qualms about taking laundry to my parent's house still or stealing a bit of their food. I had to talk myself out of stealing the aloe infused toilet paper. I go out of my way to get to The Union on Fridays for their $10 all you can drink beer + well drinks + all you can eat pizza deal. It's $10!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even buy lunch any more, my cheek-clenched money habits have beaten my laziness into submission. I do spend money on clothes and shoes, but in my defense I WILL wear them until they are pit-stained, full of holes and beyond the help of arm and hammer baking soda.
I think I get these habits from my dad. The guy who picks out TV's from the dumpster and fixes them up (I think he has four in his workshop, not counting the two I have in my apt. THANKS DAD!). He has a bagfull of rags from old clothes that never seem to go away. He also picks out furniture. He has his and hers lazyboys sitting somewhere that he found along with a dinette, two papazans, and I have no idea what else. This is why I love him.
Maybe it's from my Aunt Kathy. Who endlessly cuts up papers that are already printed on to use for scratch. We had mountains and mountains of this scratch paper, it was endless. If this woman had the recipe for post-it glue, she'd be putting them out of business.
OR it could be my crazy grandfather. He puts the 'crazy' into frugal bastard. Yep he's definitely a crazy frugal bastard. He'll stiff people who worked for him and then try and hire them again. He keeps the same decrepit boat around even though it's rotting and squirrel infested. He has the same suits from the 70s (my brothers beg to wear them to school dances) that are bright yellow with gigantic collars. He also has medications decades old. I'm already going to apologize for the next story. When I asked him for q-tips, he showed me his 'stash' of ones that he'd already used but kept around. ::shudder:: Is that something from the handkerchief era, or just my crazy grandpa? I'm thinking just my crazy grandpa.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Search Me
Some of the interesting searches that have sent people to my blog:
Ballet Outfits
Ballet tights
Nude Ballet Videos
Diana DiGarmo in Hairspray
Project Jay
and my favorite
Ballet Cupcakes
Ballet Outfits
Ballet tights
Nude Ballet Videos
Diana DiGarmo in Hairspray
Project Jay
and my favorite
Ballet Cupcakes
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Drunken A-holes
I had an interesting night... I was determined to go out tonight because I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend in the burbs. Unfortunately, everyone else was determined to stay in. Losers... So I wound up having some drinks at the apartment of James, my BFFeva Meg's boyfriend. There we are, me, Meg, James and one of James's roommate's friends. And this guy is plastered. He went to the Cubs game so he started drinking around 6a.m. ok I exaggerate... 7. We wound up watching Rachel Ray's $40 a Day because it was in Chicago. Rachel decided to take in lunch at Backstage Bistro which is run by culinary students at the Art Institute of Chicago. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Joe had to do this for Kendall except they're open for dinner, too. They're also ranked #1 in the city.
Drunk Guy: Number one in the nation?
Me: No in Chicago.
D.G.: OH! I thought you said in the nation. pish! Number one in Chicago isn't saying much.
Me: It is considering Chicago is one of the biggest cities in the nation.
D.G.: There are other great schools in San Francisco, New York...
Me: I'd think the best school would be in France, and since that's not an option.
D.G.: Yah well it's not like being a chef is that hard anyway.
Me: Oh yah it's SOOOOO easy.
D.G.: Seriously.
Me: Ok. I was being sarcastic.
D.G.: It IS easy you just have to pay attention. All you need to know when you're being a chef is what flavors go with what. You say, "hey onions don't go with this, NO onions!"
Me: And you have experience in this?
D.G.: Well... uh ya-ah. I worked for Outback Steakhouse as a chef AND I cooked for my parents A LOT. In fact when my grandparents became ill with cancer I got a lot of experience cooking for them.
Me (oh great the cancer card, dropping the conversation now since I've met you five minutes ago, awesome)
After that, anything I said the guy just fought me on. Which was awesome. So I left. My cab ride home was also interesting... Cabbie tells me the last guy in the cab jipped him a fare so he "had" to knee him in the gut. I'm feeling very secure at this point. The conversation turns to him not wanting to see Brokeback Mountain "because of those fags." Awesome. I only so much as get out that I do not like that word before I decide to shut up. Definitely not a good idea to argue with a guy after he tells you he just kicked someone's ass.
So that was my Friday night. Good times, wish I'd stayed home...
Me: Joe had to do this for Kendall except they're open for dinner, too. They're also ranked #1 in the city.
Drunk Guy: Number one in the nation?
Me: No in Chicago.
D.G.: OH! I thought you said in the nation. pish! Number one in Chicago isn't saying much.
Me: It is considering Chicago is one of the biggest cities in the nation.
D.G.: There are other great schools in San Francisco, New York...
Me: I'd think the best school would be in France, and since that's not an option.
D.G.: Yah well it's not like being a chef is that hard anyway.
Me: Oh yah it's SOOOOO easy.
D.G.: Seriously.
Me: Ok. I was being sarcastic.
D.G.: It IS easy you just have to pay attention. All you need to know when you're being a chef is what flavors go with what. You say, "hey onions don't go with this, NO onions!"
Me: And you have experience in this?
D.G.: Well... uh ya-ah. I worked for Outback Steakhouse as a chef AND I cooked for my parents A LOT. In fact when my grandparents became ill with cancer I got a lot of experience cooking for them.
Me (oh great the cancer card, dropping the conversation now since I've met you five minutes ago, awesome)
After that, anything I said the guy just fought me on. Which was awesome. So I left. My cab ride home was also interesting... Cabbie tells me the last guy in the cab jipped him a fare so he "had" to knee him in the gut. I'm feeling very secure at this point. The conversation turns to him not wanting to see Brokeback Mountain "because of those fags." Awesome. I only so much as get out that I do not like that word before I decide to shut up. Definitely not a good idea to argue with a guy after he tells you he just kicked someone's ass.
So that was my Friday night. Good times, wish I'd stayed home...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Nicole Tries Ballet (In Style!) Part 9
It seems my wireless router is broken, no blinking lights, not even the one for power. How this could happen is beyond me, the thing is not even a year old. Oh well... I might shell out the $$ for an apple one just so I can password protect my connection. Anyway, so I don't have pictures of my new outfits yet, but I'll work on it!
Yesterday I went to class wearing my new tights and legwarmers with a blue tee and shorts I already had. I love my legwarmers, even though I'm pretty sure a chick in my building was laughing at me. Whatever. The people in my building (save three) suck. They're all anti-social and snobs. Take my latest conversation with one for example:
Me: Thanks! (for holding elevator door)
Guy in Elevator: Oh they put tile in here.
Me ('duh it's been here for a week but guy has suitcase so will not judge): Yah.
G.I.E.: It looks nice.
Me: I guess, it gets pretty dirty easily though.
G.I.E.: Haha, well we've got to give Jaime (our maintenance guy) something to do! haha!
Me (mumbling with awkward laugh): That's... not... very nice...
I'm all for people doing the job they're paid for, but let's not go out of our way to make more work for them, seriously now. I like having a maintenance guy, but I wait until absolutely necessary to call him for something. Like when my air conditioning fan broke, or when my bathtub had to be snaked (ew), and when I broke a light fixture in my bathroom and I knew he had a replacement.
My next awful encounter with residents had to do with some girls who I don't know even live in the building. If they do, they definitely have daddy paying for it because there is no way they have a steady job. The day of the air and water show last year I threw a party on the rooftop and my parents and some of their friends came and so did a couple of mine including one of my good friends Jess who lives in Florida. A bunch of other people in the building were also there watching the show and drinking. So Jess and I run downstairs to my apartment for... something... probably amphetamines. And we're in the elevator with these three girls who see us push a floor other than ground floor where they're getting off, but somehow still seem surprised when the doors open since they don't move to get out. So Jess and I say, "Excuse us, excuse us!" and push through the dynamic drunk trio. Just as the doors close, one of them exclaims, "God! People are SO RUDE in this building!" Loud enough to echo down the hall, to which I respond, "OHMYGOD! Aren't they?!" I'm confused on how we were possibly rude. Maybe someday I'll be enlightened.
Anyway, my legwarmers rock! And Miss Gucci Sunglasses can kiss it, she is soooo jealous.
Class turned out to be a huge thigh worker. We were practicing going from the different positions out to second and up on our toes. You go super fast and have to keep yourself turned out. It's quite a work-out on the inner and outer thighs. We also did pirouettes at the bar again. I swear I have an easier time out in the middle doing these things, I don't know why. After some stretching we did jumps. I hate jumps. They hate me. Again, people with bazooms should not be forced to do jumps. Luckily, we moved on to doing piques with turns and then piques coupled with another kind of turn. I did pretty well, I have piques down because they're the easiest step to practice in my little apartment. I have a tiny path from my table to my door that I can go back and forth in.
I got the go ahead from my teacher that my mom can join class. I called her and told her she could definitely come next week with one stipulation: she is not allowed to voice her critiques unless I'm doing something that will definitely cause injury, I really don't want to hear anything negative about my class. I know we stink, and we're not professional, but I don't want to hear it from her. We'll see how this goes... In the next installment of!!!!! NICOLE TRIES BALLET!! STAY TUNED...
Yesterday I went to class wearing my new tights and legwarmers with a blue tee and shorts I already had. I love my legwarmers, even though I'm pretty sure a chick in my building was laughing at me. Whatever. The people in my building (save three) suck. They're all anti-social and snobs. Take my latest conversation with one for example:
Me: Thanks! (for holding elevator door)
Guy in Elevator: Oh they put tile in here.
Me ('duh it's been here for a week but guy has suitcase so will not judge): Yah.
G.I.E.: It looks nice.
Me: I guess, it gets pretty dirty easily though.
G.I.E.: Haha, well we've got to give Jaime (our maintenance guy) something to do! haha!
Me (mumbling with awkward laugh): That's... not... very nice...
I'm all for people doing the job they're paid for, but let's not go out of our way to make more work for them, seriously now. I like having a maintenance guy, but I wait until absolutely necessary to call him for something. Like when my air conditioning fan broke, or when my bathtub had to be snaked (ew), and when I broke a light fixture in my bathroom and I knew he had a replacement.
My next awful encounter with residents had to do with some girls who I don't know even live in the building. If they do, they definitely have daddy paying for it because there is no way they have a steady job. The day of the air and water show last year I threw a party on the rooftop and my parents and some of their friends came and so did a couple of mine including one of my good friends Jess who lives in Florida. A bunch of other people in the building were also there watching the show and drinking. So Jess and I run downstairs to my apartment for... something... probably amphetamines. And we're in the elevator with these three girls who see us push a floor other than ground floor where they're getting off, but somehow still seem surprised when the doors open since they don't move to get out. So Jess and I say, "Excuse us, excuse us!" and push through the dynamic drunk trio. Just as the doors close, one of them exclaims, "God! People are SO RUDE in this building!" Loud enough to echo down the hall, to which I respond, "OHMYGOD! Aren't they?!" I'm confused on how we were possibly rude. Maybe someday I'll be enlightened.
Anyway, my legwarmers rock! And Miss Gucci Sunglasses can kiss it, she is soooo jealous.
Class turned out to be a huge thigh worker. We were practicing going from the different positions out to second and up on our toes. You go super fast and have to keep yourself turned out. It's quite a work-out on the inner and outer thighs. We also did pirouettes at the bar again. I swear I have an easier time out in the middle doing these things, I don't know why. After some stretching we did jumps. I hate jumps. They hate me. Again, people with bazooms should not be forced to do jumps. Luckily, we moved on to doing piques with turns and then piques coupled with another kind of turn. I did pretty well, I have piques down because they're the easiest step to practice in my little apartment. I have a tiny path from my table to my door that I can go back and forth in.
I got the go ahead from my teacher that my mom can join class. I called her and told her she could definitely come next week with one stipulation: she is not allowed to voice her critiques unless I'm doing something that will definitely cause injury, I really don't want to hear anything negative about my class. I know we stink, and we're not professional, but I don't want to hear it from her. We'll see how this goes... In the next installment of!!!!! NICOLE TRIES BALLET!! STAY TUNED...
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Mom?
Last night I had a dentist appointment. I love my dentist. I have been going to the same one since I was 10. So when I moved to the city I had to look for a new one... yah I don't think so. I make the commute back to the burbs every single time just for my dentist. My mom was nice enough to pick me up from the train and take me there and then we went out to dinner. She had the salmon salad I had chick parmesan mmmm.... yummy!
There we were, dipping bread in olive oil and having glasses of merlot while my mom talked about her trip to California to visit my brother. Later on, the subject of my ballet classes came up. For anyone who doesn't know my mom was HUGE into ballet. She started when she was 10 and took until she was 18, went to college and taught classes there and then took more until after my littlest brother (not so little any more) was born. Let's see, so that would mean she stopped in '89. This story, coming from her, is accompanied by many tales of her riding the El at 10 "Can you BELIEVE my parents let me do that! They don't care about anybody but themselves. But I was fine." Going on to high school: "My friend Kim and I would spend hours stretching each other's arches." Then finally: "the doctor said I was ruining my feet and if I kept on doing what I was doing I'd wind up in a wheelchair." I always wondered how she danced for that long because she has the same bazooms that I do! Ouch! And this in the age before exercise bras.
Usually my mom goes on to talk about my cousin Kathleen and how she was an amazing dancer, "She would stand away from the bar, put her leg up behind her in arabesque with her nose down to her knee, then, with her leg up behind her she'd pull her body straight up! I saw her partners class and she was the best one in the room." Kathleen now has her yoga certification, which is no surprise. My mom says Kathleen and I have the same legs, we're both hyper-extended. She insists I would have been a good dancer if I had kept up with it when I was little. The difference apparently being that Kathleen did NOT get stung by a bee in the parking lot of HER dance studio and thus refuse to return to class.
I've got to give my mom credit, with all her obsession over dancing she didn't push me into it. In fact, she never really forced me into any of those hobbies. There was ballet, figure skating (which I quit when I found out I'd be forced to compete if I wanted to move up classes), horse back riding (I decided was too cold in the winter), and I settled on violin (because my best friend in first grade was taking lessons) and tennis (because Bryan and my dad started taking lessons).
Anyway, so there sat me and my mom in the car, driving back to the city and I found myself saying, "no really, you should come just for one class, it could be fun!"
"Oh I don't know... do you think I could just for one?"
"I'll ask my teacher if that'd be okay, it's only 50 min. and you could stay for the advanced class. But I warn you, our class, everybody's awful. And there's a man in a thong and tights. Just a warning."
"Don't you think I've seen that?"
"Sure, but he's OLD... like 50 in a thong and tights, it's a little disturbing."
"Oh I don't care."
So stay tuned... next week... it could be me and my mom... together... in leotards. SCARY!!! Why is the vision of my mom in tights doing pirouettes funny?
How to describe my mother... Yes, she was big into ballet. But she is in no way a pink tights, tutu girl. In addition to ballet my mom's other big obsession is hockey. Yes HOCKEY. When Miracle came out she'd get all teary describing USA's win over Russia. Then she'd launch into the accuracies/inaccuracies of the film's depiction of the games (which she says she has all on tape somewhere). Inevitably she'd settle on the last game where Russia never pulled their goalie, which in the film they say it's because the coach doesn't know what to do because he's never been in that position before. My mom insists it's because he's cocky, his team is a winner and it would show weakness to pull the goalie.
My mom's love of the game is definitely old school. She doesn't memorize stats or players, she takes it all in. She doesn't follow the puck along, she sees the whole ice. When the Blackhawks scoreboard starts to show pictures of their most favored players she rattles them off, but ask her who's number 19 on the team today, she has no idea. When the Stanley Cup comes around, she always roots for the underdog, hence her endless battle to get the Blackhawks to the finals. After a couple of glasses of wine, "My dream... is to watch the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup finals with my dad."
My mom coached for Purdue when she went there for college making her the first woman to coach collegiate hockey. She was written up in the Blue Line. First, the magazine had another woman in there, and went on to say she wrote all of these books about hockey and yadda yadda... I think my dad contacted them to tell them they made a mistake. So they wrote a retraction and listed my mom as the first, which was funny because she went on to coach two pee wee teams and then enjoyed the game from the audience.
She's been hit by the puck twice. Once in the head when she was coaching and was nine months pregnant with me (no comments please). The other time she was in her seat, and pregnant with one of my brothers. My mom is tough, driven, disciplined.
The vision of my mom, in tights and leotard, and ME doing plies, frankly, makes me laugh.
There we were, dipping bread in olive oil and having glasses of merlot while my mom talked about her trip to California to visit my brother. Later on, the subject of my ballet classes came up. For anyone who doesn't know my mom was HUGE into ballet. She started when she was 10 and took until she was 18, went to college and taught classes there and then took more until after my littlest brother (not so little any more) was born. Let's see, so that would mean she stopped in '89. This story, coming from her, is accompanied by many tales of her riding the El at 10 "Can you BELIEVE my parents let me do that! They don't care about anybody but themselves. But I was fine." Going on to high school: "My friend Kim and I would spend hours stretching each other's arches." Then finally: "the doctor said I was ruining my feet and if I kept on doing what I was doing I'd wind up in a wheelchair." I always wondered how she danced for that long because she has the same bazooms that I do! Ouch! And this in the age before exercise bras.
Usually my mom goes on to talk about my cousin Kathleen and how she was an amazing dancer, "She would stand away from the bar, put her leg up behind her in arabesque with her nose down to her knee, then, with her leg up behind her she'd pull her body straight up! I saw her partners class and she was the best one in the room." Kathleen now has her yoga certification, which is no surprise. My mom says Kathleen and I have the same legs, we're both hyper-extended. She insists I would have been a good dancer if I had kept up with it when I was little. The difference apparently being that Kathleen did NOT get stung by a bee in the parking lot of HER dance studio and thus refuse to return to class.
I've got to give my mom credit, with all her obsession over dancing she didn't push me into it. In fact, she never really forced me into any of those hobbies. There was ballet, figure skating (which I quit when I found out I'd be forced to compete if I wanted to move up classes), horse back riding (I decided was too cold in the winter), and I settled on violin (because my best friend in first grade was taking lessons) and tennis (because Bryan and my dad started taking lessons).
Anyway, so there sat me and my mom in the car, driving back to the city and I found myself saying, "no really, you should come just for one class, it could be fun!"
"Oh I don't know... do you think I could just for one?"
"I'll ask my teacher if that'd be okay, it's only 50 min. and you could stay for the advanced class. But I warn you, our class, everybody's awful. And there's a man in a thong and tights. Just a warning."
"Don't you think I've seen that?"
"Sure, but he's OLD... like 50 in a thong and tights, it's a little disturbing."
"Oh I don't care."
So stay tuned... next week... it could be me and my mom... together... in leotards. SCARY!!! Why is the vision of my mom in tights doing pirouettes funny?
How to describe my mother... Yes, she was big into ballet. But she is in no way a pink tights, tutu girl. In addition to ballet my mom's other big obsession is hockey. Yes HOCKEY. When Miracle came out she'd get all teary describing USA's win over Russia. Then she'd launch into the accuracies/inaccuracies of the film's depiction of the games (which she says she has all on tape somewhere). Inevitably she'd settle on the last game where Russia never pulled their goalie, which in the film they say it's because the coach doesn't know what to do because he's never been in that position before. My mom insists it's because he's cocky, his team is a winner and it would show weakness to pull the goalie.
My mom's love of the game is definitely old school. She doesn't memorize stats or players, she takes it all in. She doesn't follow the puck along, she sees the whole ice. When the Blackhawks scoreboard starts to show pictures of their most favored players she rattles them off, but ask her who's number 19 on the team today, she has no idea. When the Stanley Cup comes around, she always roots for the underdog, hence her endless battle to get the Blackhawks to the finals. After a couple of glasses of wine, "My dream... is to watch the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup finals with my dad."
My mom coached for Purdue when she went there for college making her the first woman to coach collegiate hockey. She was written up in the Blue Line. First, the magazine had another woman in there, and went on to say she wrote all of these books about hockey and yadda yadda... I think my dad contacted them to tell them they made a mistake. So they wrote a retraction and listed my mom as the first, which was funny because she went on to coach two pee wee teams and then enjoyed the game from the audience.
She's been hit by the puck twice. Once in the head when she was coaching and was nine months pregnant with me (no comments please). The other time she was in her seat, and pregnant with one of my brothers. My mom is tough, driven, disciplined.
The vision of my mom, in tights and leotard, and ME doing plies, frankly, makes me laugh.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Nicole Tries Ballet Part 8
Seems I've figured out why I had such a hard time last week. None of the flunkies were there! Everybody was back today and I got a little ego boost because we did p.k.'s and other spins that I've practiced a lot before. So I rocked going right AND left. Booya!
It seems registration for the next session starts April 1st. I think I'm going to sign up because it goes through May and June which is perfect for me. Things might be too crazy come July and August with wedding stuff. Besides, I want to take off for the *honeymoon* tee hee. Can't wait!
So I felt really good after class. I'm having a serious moment. I really think this class was a great idea. Starting out I knew it'd be a lot of fun, but I really feel more confident. I used to be more of a 'huncher' and now I feel like I stand up more straight. I feel less self-conscious about my arms, too. A girl in class said she thought I really improved! It was a nice compliment.
My new ballerina gear shipped yesterday. I'm so excited!!! I got tights, legwarmers and a leotard. Check it out.
Tootsies!
Wee wee I'm so cute in my legwarmers
In this ensemble I will be even more believable as a pro
It seems registration for the next session starts April 1st. I think I'm going to sign up because it goes through May and June which is perfect for me. Things might be too crazy come July and August with wedding stuff. Besides, I want to take off for the *honeymoon* tee hee. Can't wait!
So I felt really good after class. I'm having a serious moment. I really think this class was a great idea. Starting out I knew it'd be a lot of fun, but I really feel more confident. I used to be more of a 'huncher' and now I feel like I stand up more straight. I feel less self-conscious about my arms, too. A girl in class said she thought I really improved! It was a nice compliment.
My new ballerina gear shipped yesterday. I'm so excited!!! I got tights, legwarmers and a leotard. Check it out.
Tootsies!
Wee wee I'm so cute in my legwarmers
In this ensemble I will be even more believable as a proHaha! My assimilation into the professional ballerina world is almost complete... little do they know.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Cat Fight!
I definitely stayed up last night playing with iMovie on my Powerbook. Something I had yet to do because I don't own a video camera. Recently I bought a digital camera, thus these lovely kitty pictures. And I have a 1GB memory card so I've been taking random videos of kitties. Yes, I do not get out a lot okaaaaay! Let's see if this works...
Project Die Bravo
Just so everyone knows I've sent a heated message to Bravo about my disgust of not having seen another episode of Project Jay.
Subject: What about Jay? WHAT ABOUT JAY?!?!?!?
Body: Where's Jay? I only saw one episode and I keep waiting for more... I miss Jay... Bring him back!!!
If this doesn't work, by God, I'm thinking we should start a petition!
::sniff sniff:: I smell a new blog in the works!!!
Please note: Author has had way too much time on her hands...
Subject: What about Jay? WHAT ABOUT JAY?!?!?!?
Body: Where's Jay? I only saw one episode and I keep waiting for more... I miss Jay... Bring him back!!!
If this doesn't work, by God, I'm thinking we should start a petition!
::sniff sniff:: I smell a new blog in the works!!!
Please note: Author has had way too much time on her hands...
Mrrrow!
Saturday, March 25th. 9:15 a.m. I have to take the kitties to the vet for their 9:30 a.m. appointment. Unfortunately, my car is at Joe's place. And I'm extremely hungover. I have a few choices: 1. Take a taxi with the cats to the vet and back $$$ 2. Take a taxi to my car, back to the apt. then to the vet. 3. Take a taxi with the cats to my car and then to the vet. 4. Walk the four blocks to the vet.
So there I am, hungover, unwashed, carring my two 12 lb. cats, each in their own carrier on either side of me down the streets of Chicago. And all they can do is cry as loud as they can. You can imagine the looks people at the bus stop gave me, especially when the bus came and the cats FREAKED OUT! Even though they had nowhere to go they started running around.
Whenever you think you're having a bad day, imagine me walking down the street hungover at 9 a.m. with two cats in carriers flanking me, "Merrrrrrrrrrrow! MEOW!!! MERRRROOOOOOOOW!!!!"
As Kate pointed out, this is why I should've trained them to walk on a leash. Hindsight is 20/20.
So there I am, hungover, unwashed, carring my two 12 lb. cats, each in their own carrier on either side of me down the streets of Chicago. And all they can do is cry as loud as they can. You can imagine the looks people at the bus stop gave me, especially when the bus came and the cats FREAKED OUT! Even though they had nowhere to go they started running around.
Whenever you think you're having a bad day, imagine me walking down the street hungover at 9 a.m. with two cats in carriers flanking me, "Merrrrrrrrrrrow! MEOW!!! MERRRROOOOOOOOW!!!!"
As Kate pointed out, this is why I should've trained them to walk on a leash. Hindsight is 20/20.
Friday, March 24, 2006
What to Wear... What to Wear...
And if you need to, buy some new ballet outfits because it's 70% how you look and 30% how you dance!!" -Kelly
Hmm... how does one define 'need.' So far I've been wearing the same jazz pants with different t-shirts to class. Other people's outfits (not counting our esteemed teacher) have ranged from jazz pants to actual ballet tights to regular tights, coulats (::shudder::), leotards, and t-shirts. T-back is very found of his tights (::double shudder::). Maybe it IS time to shake it up a bit.
My cousin Kelly provided me with a couple websites to peruse in my off time at work (otherwise known as the other 7 hrs. I'm at my desk). What do you guys think I should get?? I'm thinking legwarmers are a non-negotiable purchase, but there are so many kinds!
This picture makes me want pointe shoes, just so I can wear them around the house with legwarmers.
Hmm... how does one define 'need.' So far I've been wearing the same jazz pants with different t-shirts to class. Other people's outfits (not counting our esteemed teacher) have ranged from jazz pants to actual ballet tights to regular tights, coulats (::shudder::), leotards, and t-shirts. T-back is very found of his tights (::double shudder::). Maybe it IS time to shake it up a bit.
My cousin Kelly provided me with a couple websites to peruse in my off time at work (otherwise known as the other 7 hrs. I'm at my desk). What do you guys think I should get?? I'm thinking legwarmers are a non-negotiable purchase, but there are so many kinds!
This picture makes me want pointe shoes, just so I can wear them around the house with legwarmers.They also come in stripes! And I think I really like the ones that have cut-outs for your heels. I dunno, too 80s stirrup pants?
I really like these ballerinas. They're so cute! They're all pink and black.
That's me in the front, checking out my hott a$$
I really like these ballerinas. They're so cute! They're all pink and black.
That's me in the front, checking out my hott a$$So what about leotards? The problem is my ba-zooms. They're quite large. All these leotards that say built in bra, HA! I scoff at you! ::scoff!:: How do I fit an exercise bra underneath these things? Are they stretchy enough that I can even fit into them? More importantly, should I get a black one or a pink one?
Every leotard comes guaranteed with it's own personal midget.
Every leotard comes guaranteed with it's own personal midget.There are different options with tights too. You can get cutoff tights, full-length tights, CONVERTIBLE tights.
Maybe a little too high-tech?
Now the question is: Can I just waltz into class with all of my new gear on? Maybe I should eeeeease into it a bit. Week 1: tights, legwarmers, short shorts and t-shirt? Week 2: Jazz pants, leotard? Week 3: tights, legwarmers, leotard, criss-cross sweater? no sweater? Oh the possible combos.
ADVISE ME!! NOW GO!
pictures courtesy of: www.discountdance.com and www.dancedistributors.com go visit if you want to add suggestions!
p.s. Check this woman out. Isn't she craaaaazy?
ADVISE ME!! NOW GO!
pictures courtesy of: www.discountdance.com and www.dancedistributors.com go visit if you want to add suggestions!
p.s. Check this woman out. Isn't she craaaaazy?
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Nicole Tries and Fails Rhythm
I have a problem. With rhythm. Unfortunately it seems my rhythm skills are limited to my fingers and the violin. My wobbly flamingo legs are having issssues. That's double the ses for double the problems (sorry no cute twins here). I don't wanna talk about it...
I'm sorry to say I'm in a bad mood. Could be the disappointing ballet class, could be the fact Project Jay looks like it's cancelled and all I'm left with is crappy Lost. Damn you Lost! You never answer my questions! EVER!!! I enjoy a good mystery like any other person, Law and Order, Monk, Law and Order: CI, CSI: Las Vegas (NOT Miami), Law and Order: SVU, Murder She Wrote, but Lost is crazy ridiculous. What's-her-name is probably pregnant, blah blah blah I do not care! I am sick of the island, SICK I TELL YOU. I don't care any more if they ever get off.
::channel change::
AH VERONICA MARS!! NOOOOOoooooooooo!!!
::change!::
GILmore GIrls?!?!?!?!? Why wasn't this cancelled years ago? Who the hell is this teenager chick? They need another annoying nerdy girl on this show? I thought they already had a surplus.
::CHANGE::
American Idol. Ew that guy is getting all makey outy through the TV. And he is quite old.
::changey changey change oh baby::
Cops! Ooo hicks puking, good times.
::Change oh lordy!::
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?? Ok, I never got this movie. I know it's supposed to be based on The Odyssey, but come on! The only reason anyone heard of it was because of the soundtrack. By the way I do not remember a baptism anywhere in the book. Even so, speaking for grown women everywhere, white robes submerged in water seems like a very bad idea. Anyway, just because you take a classic book and put it in a different setting doesn't mean it's going to turn out well. Take O. WORST MOVIE EVER. Did anyone see that? Oh yah, that's because it SUCKED. And the rape scene? Just a little unnecessary. ::shudder::
::click!::
AH RAYMOND!!!
::you are HATED BIOTCH!::
basketball, basketball
::click click::
Parent Trap. Lindsay Lohan pre-crack addiction, interesting. Double the nauseation. Horrible horrible English accents. Their first mistake was not casting me. Yah I said it.
::cliiiiiiiiiiick::
Lifetime!!!!
::pooooop::
Ah Top Chef. Same as all reality shows whine whine whine whine whine.
::SOUFFLE!::
Animal Planet. Planeta animal. Ah me encanta la policia animal. Desafortunadamente, este no es.
::cambia!::
Mythbusters! Dang, seen it.
::kaboom!::
Ah Hallmark channel and Tori Spelling. That's an oxymoron.
::changey::
::GASP!:: Chicago WOLVES are on TV??? the WOLVES?? DIE WIRTZ!! DIE!!!
I will watch Top Chef. But only because RuPaul is on it.
I will leave you with KITTIES
Manus's myspace profile pic
Fenster hearts the sink
Manus's "are you kidding me?" face
I'm sorry to say I'm in a bad mood. Could be the disappointing ballet class, could be the fact Project Jay looks like it's cancelled and all I'm left with is crappy Lost. Damn you Lost! You never answer my questions! EVER!!! I enjoy a good mystery like any other person, Law and Order, Monk, Law and Order: CI, CSI: Las Vegas (NOT Miami), Law and Order: SVU, Murder She Wrote, but Lost is crazy ridiculous. What's-her-name is probably pregnant, blah blah blah I do not care! I am sick of the island, SICK I TELL YOU. I don't care any more if they ever get off.
::channel change::
AH VERONICA MARS!! NOOOOOoooooooooo!!!
::change!::
GILmore GIrls?!?!?!?!? Why wasn't this cancelled years ago? Who the hell is this teenager chick? They need another annoying nerdy girl on this show? I thought they already had a surplus.
::CHANGE::
American Idol. Ew that guy is getting all makey outy through the TV. And he is quite old.
::changey changey change oh baby::
Cops! Ooo hicks puking, good times.
::Change oh lordy!::
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?? Ok, I never got this movie. I know it's supposed to be based on The Odyssey, but come on! The only reason anyone heard of it was because of the soundtrack. By the way I do not remember a baptism anywhere in the book. Even so, speaking for grown women everywhere, white robes submerged in water seems like a very bad idea. Anyway, just because you take a classic book and put it in a different setting doesn't mean it's going to turn out well. Take O. WORST MOVIE EVER. Did anyone see that? Oh yah, that's because it SUCKED. And the rape scene? Just a little unnecessary. ::shudder::
::click!::
AH RAYMOND!!!
::you are HATED BIOTCH!::
basketball, basketball
::click click::
Parent Trap. Lindsay Lohan pre-crack addiction, interesting. Double the nauseation. Horrible horrible English accents. Their first mistake was not casting me. Yah I said it.
::cliiiiiiiiiiick::
Lifetime!!!!
::pooooop::
Ah Top Chef. Same as all reality shows whine whine whine whine whine.
::SOUFFLE!::
Animal Planet. Planeta animal. Ah me encanta la policia animal. Desafortunadamente, este no es.
::cambia!::
Mythbusters! Dang, seen it.
::kaboom!::
Ah Hallmark channel and Tori Spelling. That's an oxymoron.
::changey::
::GASP!:: Chicago WOLVES are on TV??? the WOLVES?? DIE WIRTZ!! DIE!!!
I will watch Top Chef. But only because RuPaul is on it.
I will leave you with KITTIES
Manus's myspace profile pic
Fenster hearts the sinkManus's "are you kidding me?" faceBravo?
After talking about my love for Project Jay, I had some off time at work and decided to visit the Bravo TV website to see if there was any news about upcoming new episodes. No luck under current show listings :( . So I checked 'Upcoming Shows.' Well you could've knocked me over with a feather! Sandwiched between such gems as 'The Real Housewives of Orange County,' 'Million Dollar Listing: Hollywood,' and 'Work Out' ("a new character-driven docu-drama that will explore the world of high-end gym owner, Jackie Warner, her trainers and their clients" puke puke) is 'SIX FEET UNDER.' WTF????
Bravo has the rights for Emmy-award winning drama HBO series SIX FEET UNDER???????
Here's the projected TV line-up:
8/7c Blow Out - "Jonathan is on top of the world. He's asked to appear on Good Morning America alongside Diane Sawyer, does Diana Digarmo's hair for the opening of 'Hairspray,' and pushes the envelope during a photo shoot, which he proposes they do nude..."
9/8c Queer Eye - "You would think living the life of a circus carney is all fun and games but it's a lot of hard work. Just ask Michael since he's been the tent master for Big Apple Circus for the past ten years. Though he loves what he does, there is absolutely no "down" time, enter the Fab Five!"
10/9c Six Feet Under - "The inventor of a franchise pyramid scheme dies in a pool accident, leaving his widow and infant daughter with a mountain of debts and no money for a proper funeral. Nate offers a solution: rent a top-line casket, then cremate the body after viewing. There's just one problem: by law, a used casket cannot be re-sold. Ruth breaks up with Hiram during a nature hike, David receives an unexpected visit from his ex-fiancee Jennifer, and Gabe gets Claire to suck on his toes in the back of her hearse."
11/10c Project Runway - "In the workroom, the designers are disarmed to learn that they will be working in teams of two with equally shared team leadership, and they had 60 seconds to pair themselves up. They were to create one outfit per team, so they had to choose one of their two models to wear the look. Anxiety proliferated!"
::sing song voice:: One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't beloooong.
Bravo has the rights for Emmy-award winning drama HBO series SIX FEET UNDER???????
Here's the projected TV line-up:
8/7c Blow Out - "Jonathan is on top of the world. He's asked to appear on Good Morning America alongside Diane Sawyer, does Diana Digarmo's hair for the opening of 'Hairspray,' and pushes the envelope during a photo shoot, which he proposes they do nude..."
9/8c Queer Eye - "You would think living the life of a circus carney is all fun and games but it's a lot of hard work. Just ask Michael since he's been the tent master for Big Apple Circus for the past ten years. Though he loves what he does, there is absolutely no "down" time, enter the Fab Five!"
10/9c Six Feet Under - "The inventor of a franchise pyramid scheme dies in a pool accident, leaving his widow and infant daughter with a mountain of debts and no money for a proper funeral. Nate offers a solution: rent a top-line casket, then cremate the body after viewing. There's just one problem: by law, a used casket cannot be re-sold. Ruth breaks up with Hiram during a nature hike, David receives an unexpected visit from his ex-fiancee Jennifer, and Gabe gets Claire to suck on his toes in the back of her hearse."
11/10c Project Runway - "In the workroom, the designers are disarmed to learn that they will be working in teams of two with equally shared team leadership, and they had 60 seconds to pair themselves up. They were to create one outfit per team, so they had to choose one of their two models to wear the look. Anxiety proliferated!"
::sing song voice:: One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't beloooong.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The One Jewish Girlfriend
I was reading my friend Paul's blog and I came upon this passage:
"my partner in crime over at FeedBurner who is also at the co-lo but at a different cage just said: "Because, its like an explosion of heavy jewish nerds back here." HAHAHA!!! Don't get me wrong, I love Jews. I dated one once even."
I promptly wrote him an email:
"how come catholic guys always have had like one jewish girlfriend? that they deem their jewish girl experience?
i only ask because joe dated a jewish girl and i asked why they broke up once and he goes "she was jewish and a vegetarian, i mean come on, do you see me dating someone like that?"
"i dunno, i guess..."
"no nicole, no. she would get up and go to all of her classes and work out."
"and you don't do that."
"no i do not."
"so she would hassle you about it?"
"well... no..."
"okaaaay..."
"she was jewish and a VEGETARIAN. VEGETARIAN!!!"
"ok ok i get it, it'd never work between you."
"never.""
Paul's response:
"OMG!!! My Jewish girlfriend was ALSO a vegetarian. The phrase "she
was jewish and a VEGETARIAN. VEGETARIAN!!!" pretty much captures it.
Creepy. Her name wasn't Michelle was it?"
No, no it was not, but this still cracks me up. Because I still don't get it, but I'm glad the guys seem to have an understanding.
(See a link to Paul's blog to the left in my 'links' column)
"my partner in crime over at FeedBurner who is also at the co-lo but at a different cage just said: "Because, its like an explosion of heavy jewish nerds back here." HAHAHA!!! Don't get me wrong, I love Jews. I dated one once even."
I promptly wrote him an email:
"how come catholic guys always have had like one jewish girlfriend? that they deem their jewish girl experience?
i only ask because joe dated a jewish girl and i asked why they broke up once and he goes "she was jewish and a vegetarian, i mean come on, do you see me dating someone like that?"
"i dunno, i guess..."
"no nicole, no. she would get up and go to all of her classes and work out."
"and you don't do that."
"no i do not."
"so she would hassle you about it?"
"well... no..."
"okaaaay..."
"she was jewish and a VEGETARIAN. VEGETARIAN!!!"
"ok ok i get it, it'd never work between you."
"never.""
Paul's response:
"OMG!!! My Jewish girlfriend was ALSO a vegetarian. The phrase "she
was jewish and a VEGETARIAN. VEGETARIAN!!!" pretty much captures it.
Creepy. Her name wasn't Michelle was it?"
No, no it was not, but this still cracks me up. Because I still don't get it, but I'm glad the guys seem to have an understanding.
(See a link to Paul's blog to the left in my 'links' column)
Sick Day!
Things I Learned on my First Legitamate Sick Day:
1. I will miss absolutely nothing at work.
2. Only one person will leave me a voicemail and it won't be important.
3. The only work e-mails I receive will be ones with the following titles:
-Coffee?
-Lego Church
-The pope and the republicans
-Engineers
-Fw: Which car are you? I am a mazda
4. Lea Thompson was a ballerina who originally auditioned for Mikhail Barishnokov (or as I like to call him 'The Russian' from S&TC) before becoming oh so famous in Back to the Future after The Russian told her she was "too stocky." Thank you AMC.
5. My kitties do nothing exciting during the day.
6. The garbage truck sounds like a dog in pain.
7. There are two hours a day when Law and Order is not on.
8. Project Jay may only have one episode... ever. I am not happy about this.
9. I have no food.
10. I still won't have any work to do the day I come in.
My day consisted of me sitting around watching TV and periodically calling Joe who's on his week off to bitch at him because I'm sicky and he's ruining my life because he finished anything and everything good in my kitchen.
::ring ring::
"Hello?"
"I just looked at my liqeur bottle, there is nothing left! You said you finished a lot of it, but I didn't know you meant practically ALL of it!"
"I'm sorry... are you still not feeling well?"
"NO! ugh..."
"I'll buy you a new one."
"I don't WANT you to buy me a new one."
"Okay..."
"I'm taking a nap." ::hangs up phone watches another 2 hours of Law and Order::
::ring ring::
"Hello?"
"Where is my popcorn?! I wanted to make a bowl for Prison Break, and I can't find it."
"Well, I made that huge pot on Saturday."
"You didn't tell me you used ALL of it up!"
"Well... yah... sorry."
"UGH! Fine, fine. I gotta go, Prison Break's on." ::hangs up, weeps for Wentworth Miller::
1. I will miss absolutely nothing at work.
2. Only one person will leave me a voicemail and it won't be important.
3. The only work e-mails I receive will be ones with the following titles:
-Coffee?
-Lego Church
-The pope and the republicans
-Engineers
-Fw: Which car are you? I am a mazda
4. Lea Thompson was a ballerina who originally auditioned for Mikhail Barishnokov (or as I like to call him 'The Russian' from S&TC) before becoming oh so famous in Back to the Future after The Russian told her she was "too stocky." Thank you AMC.
5. My kitties do nothing exciting during the day.
6. The garbage truck sounds like a dog in pain.
7. There are two hours a day when Law and Order is not on.
8. Project Jay may only have one episode... ever. I am not happy about this.
9. I have no food.
10. I still won't have any work to do the day I come in.
My day consisted of me sitting around watching TV and periodically calling Joe who's on his week off to bitch at him because I'm sicky and he's ruining my life because he finished anything and everything good in my kitchen.
::ring ring::
"Hello?"
"I just looked at my liqeur bottle, there is nothing left! You said you finished a lot of it, but I didn't know you meant practically ALL of it!"
"I'm sorry... are you still not feeling well?"
"NO! ugh..."
"I'll buy you a new one."
"I don't WANT you to buy me a new one."
"Okay..."
"I'm taking a nap." ::hangs up phone watches another 2 hours of Law and Order::
::ring ring::
"Hello?"
"Where is my popcorn?! I wanted to make a bowl for Prison Break, and I can't find it."
"Well, I made that huge pot on Saturday."
"You didn't tell me you used ALL of it up!"
"Well... yah... sorry."
"UGH! Fine, fine. I gotta go, Prison Break's on." ::hangs up, weeps for Wentworth Miller::
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Cupcake Cupboard
Last Saturday I made chocolate mint cupcakes with white frosting. They were supposed to be in honor of St. Paddy's day but I forgot the food coloring to dye the frosting green. Get it? They're mint and green? eh? EH? It would've been fantastic. Oh well, they still turned out spectacular. So then I ran into a problem. I made 20 cupcakes, and I am one person without tupperware. Luckily, due to my lack of pots and pans I had ample shelf space. And thus the cupcake cupboard was born.
Cupcake and beer stein coexist in peace
Before you start to think I'm Better Crocker, you must know they came from a box and I just added mint extract to the mix. But I was pretty proud of my babies. I let Joe try them first.
Joe: ::takes huge bite:: mmm... You know, being in culinary school, the first thing I notice about food now is all the flaws.
Me: ::jaw drops::
Joe: No no, it's okay, I made the same mistake in baking and pastry.
Me: ::mouth open::
Joe: It's stupid, it doesn't mean anything.
Me: ::curled in a ball in the corner weeping::
Joe: Aw! They're really good! See? ::takes another bite::
Me: ::rocking back and forth::
Joe: My pastry teacher is just really picky
Me: ::gets up, walks to cupcake cupboard, SMASHES CUPCAKES!!!::
Oh I'm just kidding about all that, I would never smash cupcakes. Ever. No matter how 'flawed' somebody thinks they are. Because that somebody doesn't deserve cupcakes, not to mention MINT cupcakes. For the record, Joanie said they were "AMAZING." That's right, she said it in all caps just like that.
Joe: ::takes huge bite:: mmm... You know, being in culinary school, the first thing I notice about food now is all the flaws.
Me: ::jaw drops::
Joe: No no, it's okay, I made the same mistake in baking and pastry.
Me: ::mouth open::
Joe: It's stupid, it doesn't mean anything.
Me: ::curled in a ball in the corner weeping::
Joe: Aw! They're really good! See? ::takes another bite::
Me: ::rocking back and forth::
Joe: My pastry teacher is just really picky
Me: ::gets up, walks to cupcake cupboard, SMASHES CUPCAKES!!!::
Oh I'm just kidding about all that, I would never smash cupcakes. Ever. No matter how 'flawed' somebody thinks they are. Because that somebody doesn't deserve cupcakes, not to mention MINT cupcakes. For the record, Joanie said they were "AMAZING." That's right, she said it in all caps just like that.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Nicole Tries Can Can Dancing
Dang it! I wanted blue! Those are the perks of sleeping with the guy who plays Billy the Kid.We worked those high kicks today! The hardest one being where you kick high to the front then brush right down to the back. It's hard not to gyrate your pelvis front to back while you do that, gotta strengthen those ab muscles grrrrrr. The most awkward part of that exercise was the arm movements. We kicked out to the front, arm up above the head, out to the side, arm to the side, to the back, arm straight out in front. You don't have time to feel self-conscious about possible 'wetness.' I think this is a good thing, though. I don't have time to feel awkward about my monkey-arms. AND I didn't smack anyone today.
We've talked about the way to hold your hands, and more specifically, fingers. If Barbie wore legwarmers, she would have the perfect hands. Fingers are slightly separated, thumb out, index finger kind of pointed.
When brother Timmy expressed an interest in jewelry making, Suzy was excited! Little did she know it would end in carnage.
We've talked about the way to hold your hands, and more specifically, fingers. If Barbie wore legwarmers, she would have the perfect hands. Fingers are slightly separated, thumb out, index finger kind of pointed.
When brother Timmy expressed an interest in jewelry making, Suzy was excited! Little did she know it would end in carnage.We also learned a new step today that was kind of like a waltz. You step with your foot flat, then take two more up on your toes. Your hands go from side to side. I don't think I even have to say how I flopped the arm movements yet again. The whole 3-step movement seems to mystify my coordination. I have 1-2 no problem, but going down, up, up? Sha right. That's going to take some more practice. How bout we just change it to down, up, down, up? No? The whole step reminds me of the first part of the Nutcracker where they're having the party and everyone's dancing around. I would be the huge attraction in the corner. You know, the tree? Yep, that's my starring role. It's totally brilliant. I look fabulous in green. I love accessories, and in the second scene, I get to tower over everybody. I've got to remember this suggestion for the recital.
p.s. My kitties are re-enacting Brokeback Mountain. Manus kissed Fenster, Fenster starting beating on him, it was claw, claw, bite, KISSES!!! Now I know what my boys do all day, they go to the movies! haha I just got a visual of Manus and Fenster sitting in the front row of a movie theatre with a box of milk duds (cuz they gotta have milk duds).
M: Stop hogging my milk duds!
F: Oh look, you have milk dud on you, let me get that... ::lick::
M: You bastard! ::hits with paw::
F: You're going to get it ::bites ear:: Oh gawd, milk dud! ::lick lick::
M: You son of a... ::bites neck:: mmm... some is on you here...
F: I'm not like that!
M: Quiet! I'm eating!
p.p.s. Looks like I jumped on the bandwagon with the Brokeback Mountain parodies... so low... so low...
p.s. My kitties are re-enacting Brokeback Mountain. Manus kissed Fenster, Fenster starting beating on him, it was claw, claw, bite, KISSES!!! Now I know what my boys do all day, they go to the movies! haha I just got a visual of Manus and Fenster sitting in the front row of a movie theatre with a box of milk duds (cuz they gotta have milk duds).
M: Stop hogging my milk duds!
F: Oh look, you have milk dud on you, let me get that... ::lick::
M: You bastard! ::hits with paw::
F: You're going to get it ::bites ear:: Oh gawd, milk dud! ::lick lick::
M: You son of a... ::bites neck:: mmm... some is on you here...
F: I'm not like that!
M: Quiet! I'm eating!
p.p.s. Looks like I jumped on the bandwagon with the Brokeback Mountain parodies... so low... so low...
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