Nicole Tries Ballet Part 1

Today was my first Ballet lesson. I got home at 5:15 and decided to eat my steak tips lean cuisine as opposed to the chicken and cheese because I figured it was heartier (and it was a whopping point more than the chicken whoop!). I tried on my **jazz pants**, as the girl in the store called them. Turns out **jazz pants** are crazy tight. Good thing I've lost five pounds due to the wedding planning driving me virtually insane. I took my canvas, pink, freaking adorable Ballet shoes out of their plastic bag and proceeded to sew the elastics around my ankle and to the arch part of my foot. I was not aware you had to do this, the girl at the store told me I had to. My little tootsies were looking crazy adorable.

Of course, this whole sewing fiasco had me sprinting to the dance place (oh so conveniently located a block away from my apartment so no worries). I expected a room full of people of different ages, all in pink ballet shoes, hands on bars, practicing the different ballet positions religiously for the entire hour.

Toes out! And one and two and tail bone down! And up and down and up and down andupanddownandupanddownand hoooooooooooooooooooold.

As it always is when you start something new, it was totally different. There were about 15 girls and one man in a t-back thong (and no he was not under the age of 25... or 35 for that matter). Most of the girls were my age except for two women, one blonde, one brunette. The brunette was older and was wearing a black leotard with black tights. She was... mmmm.... a little bulbous for the leotard.

We went around the room introducing ourselves and saying how much experience we had in ballet. Most girls said they had stopped taking when they were seven. The man said he'd taken for 10 years. (Do I hear an 'uh-oh'?)

Our instructor, definitely a peppy little blonde ex-luvabull asked us to go to the bar to warm up. And then it was

First, pleee-aaaa plee-aaa and down and second and plee-aaa plee-aaa and down and reach and stretch and up and back and j bixnd iewrfjds saed down uddp ffnccmd ?????????

And I was lost... I don't do well with new body steps a la dance movements. I went to Swing Club in college twice. The last time I had to dance with an experienced guy who tried to teach me some things... it didn't go well.

Him: Left and touch! Left and touch!
Me: ::left and right left and right::
Him: No! Left and touch! Left and touch!
Me: Riiight right right.... ::left and right left and right::
Him: Ohmygosh is that Carol? ::walks off:: CAROL!
Me: aaawww.... ::pout::

We moved to the middle of the floor and started doing turns. Except they were point to the top, to the side, back and up to the knee while up on your toes AND TURN!!!! AH!!!!

So I started getting a little... flustered. Damn this little blonde and her pointed toes with the right steps and the turns! I wasn't planning on turning! I was planning on being stationary with a nice supportive bar! Where's my bar! Speaking of bar... anybody want to get a drink after this?

Then we did mini gran je te's across the floor (I know how to spell that because when I was 12 I had a picture of a ballerina on my wall leaping in the air with the words "Gran Je Te" in cursive underneath... there might be an accent somewhere in there since those French are so fond of them). Then she added a step and I had to stop class to ask her what it was again because she went on to the arms and I got lost. (T-back guy was leaping his heart out meanwhile.)

We ended in the middle of the floor stretching with the different ballet positions, where our lovely instructor demonstrated the arm and head movements (head movements?). I felt too awkward to do the head movements. I mean, come on, look left look right look down and up? I had a hard enough time not falling over. I decided it was a better idea to keep my eyes front and focused so I didn't go down.

After class I asked Ms. Perky if she could go through the positions with me. She was nice enough to comply. I left and heard the older blonde woman saying she was dropping the class seeing as she'd never taken ballet before (hey jump on the bandwagon lady!) . A young blonde was arguing with her that she should stay (I could see the poor woman was just embarrassed and didn't want to have the conversation).

Young Blonde: Not everyone has taken.
Old Blonde: Yes but I don't even know the positions, I just wouldn't be able to catch up.
Y.B.: You can like ask her, she was showing that girl what the positions are.

And it hit me... I'm still 'that girl.' Yep, I'm surely on my way of being 'that girl' in the back of the class that asks a billion questions.

Me: Can you show me the steps again? Do you bend your knees? Is it the right arm or the left arm? How low do you hold your arms?
Everyone Else: Will that girl ever shut up?

::Sigh:: I retreated to my apartment. Where, of course, I had to try to do the moves in the middle of my hallway, holding onto a door frame. Manus watched me up-sidedown on his back with his "are you kidding me?" look. I was unscathed. Let him try doing the splits when he hasn't done one since high school - HA! I brushed him even though he hates it just to show him who's boss. Don't worry, it wasn't cat abuse, he got a treat afterwards and promptly retreated to the bathroom sink to plot against Fenster.

Conclusion: Day one, a little discouraging. But no worries, I signed up for this, I'm seeing it through. Plus they already cashed my check, and I bought shoes! I don't return shoes. Shoes mean commitment.